The tallest blog in the world.

What Would Jesus Leg Press?
Last April, you may recall, The New York Times revealed that Madeleine Albright can leg-press 400 lbs. Not to be outdone, I guess, the Reverend Pat Robertson revealed on the Christian Broadcasting Network’s Web site that he can leg press a ton.

Some have questioned this claim. Supposedly, you can’t even get a machine that will hold 2000 lbs. Plus, the guy is 76 years old. And, um, you know, crazy.

A spokeswoman for CBN explained it to the Associated Press this way: "Pat is so healthy. This is something he trained for over an extended period of time. He lives a very healthy, regimented life."

Also, according to the Associated Press, the Web site attributes Robertson's energy in part to “his age-defying protein shake." The site has a recipe for the shake, which contains ingredients such as soy protein isolate, whey protein isolate, flaxseed oil and apple cider vinegar.

This is news?
So I was listening to ABC News on the radio, and there was some story or other about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, and the newscaster actually referred to the couple as “Bradjolie.” This wasn't some tabloid gossip head, but a reader on the actual news, from the actual Main Stream Media.

What is up with that? Remember when Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez were an item? That’s so ten minutes ago, I know, but I often heard them referred to as “Bennifer.”

What the hell is this all about? We’re supposed to consider two celebrities in love as an entirely new unique being? Something that will absorb all it touches?

But what if the love of Brad and Angelina is truly one of the great loves of all time? What if they win the Nobel Peace Prize, a mutual Oscar, and the cover of PEOPLE, VANITY FAIR, and TIME simultaneously? Think of the headline: BRADJOLIE CURES CANCER! BRADJOLIE BRING WORLD PEACE! We’ll feel mighty foolish then.

Or maybe we should retrofit all the great loves of the world:

Roliet.
Tristolde.
Antonapatra.
Joko.
Trepburn.
Abeloise.
Billary. Oh wait…. It’s been done.

Speaking of love….
In Germany, a swan has fallen in love with a swan-shaped paddle boat.

Because it was where?
From the Associated Press:
“The story, an open secret in the crowded nylon city of Mt. Everest base camp, trickled out from the high Himalayas: a British mountaineer desperate for oxygen had collapsed along a well-traveled route to the summit. Dozens of people walked right past him, unwilling to risk their own ascents. Within hours, David Sharp, 34, was dead.”

Up to forty people, apparently, rushed past him in their zeal to get to the summit. Among them was David Inglis, the first double amputee to achieve that goal.

From Reuters: “The Himalayan Times had reported Friday that the Nepali climbing guide, whose name it gave as Lakpa Tharke, stood naked for three minutes in freezing conditions on the 29,035-foot summit of the world's highest peak.”

If you have to wade through dying Brits and naked Sherpas just to experience oxygen deprivation, I say the hell with it.

Freegans
From Reuters:

“Some call them ‘dumpster divers,’ others brand them ‘skip lickers,’ but Ross Parry and Ash Falkingham like to count themselves among the Freegans -- a growing band of foragers who seek to live entirely from the waste of others.

“In this brief trip to a small supermarket skip in southeast London, they have recovered enough food to provide themselves -- and several others -- with an impressive evening meal, as well as bread, muffins and teabags for the next morning's breakfast.

“Freeganism, derived from the words ‘free’ and ‘vegan,’ is spreading to Britain from the United States, where one of its founding fathers, Adam Weissman, has set up a Freegan information Web site to persuade others to join him.”

I say they’re hippies, and I say to hell with them.

I’m not a fan of Hillary Clinton, but come on….
From SLATE:
“…[T]he New York Post put to Hillary the key culturally identifying question of our era: What's on your iPod? Musical taste is eternally revealing, and thanks to the growing ubiquity of MP3 players, many people now wear this signifying data on their belts. The senator from New York responded that she has the Beatles and the Rolling Stones on the white iPod that her husband gave her for a birthday present, along with Motown and classical music. She then rattled off a list of songs: the Beatles ‘Hey Jude,’ Aretha Franklin's, ‘Respect,’ the Eagles ‘Take It to the Limit,’ and U2's ‘Beautiful Day.’

“Hillary Clinton is the least spontaneous of politicians, and this playlist suggests premeditation, if not actual poll-testing. She first indicates that she basically likes everything before coming to roost on classic rock and soul, which any baby boomer must identify with, lest she or he be branded terminally uncool. Hillary avoids, however, anything too racy, druggie, or aggressive, while naming tunes that are empowering and inspirational.”

What the hell is she supposed to listen to? Flipper, Black Flag, Black Sabbath, the Germs, Devo, the Ramones, and Metallica? SHE’S A POLITICIAN!!!

The Forgotten Blog

BUSY LITTLE GUY
The last few weeks have kept me from my precious blog, what with multiple deadlines, multiple concerts from the Unbridled Bride, and driving her to same. The Kessler household is frazzled and exhausted, and yet- strangely- exhilarated and proud.

DAVINCICODE
I can’t believe Christians are taking this stupid movie and book seriously. I have read THE DAVINCI CODE. It’s bad John Grisham, who’s already bad, with heresies. The heresies are just spice in a bland stew, people! Christianity will survive, believe me. Why do people like this book so much? Beats me.

MICHAEL NOVAK
“Now when he is at his lowest point yet in the polls is the time for those who love and admire President Bush to say so. Depending on the final success of his already successful campaign to bring the rudiments of democracy to Afghanistan and Iraq, George W. Bush, #43, may go down as a truly great president, who against fierce odds turned the entire Middle East in a new, more democratic, and more creative direction.”

Well, hey, Michael, good luck with your cheerleading. I’d give you a dollar, but I gave my last one to a homeless guy.

SCHOOL BANS SESAME STREET GANG T-SHIRTS
From the Associated Press

BROCKTON, Mass. -- A high school in Massachusetts has banned certain T-shirts featuring Sesame Street characters.

But these aren't typical pictures of Big Bird and the crew.

In some, Bert and Ernie are standing in a gang posture, armed with automatic weapons. Others feature Oscar the Grouch emerging from his garbage can, wielding a 9 mm handgun.

Brockton High School Principal Susan Szachowicz said only a few of the shirts appeared, but that was enough for the school to ban them because of the violent, pro-gang message.

She said the T-shirts also violate the school's dress policy.

ABC NIGHTLINE_JOHN BERMAN
Grown Iraqi men get misty-eyed by the mere mention of his name. "I love Lionel Richie," they say. Iraqis who do not understand a word of English can sing an entire Lionel Richie song.
…
I asked Richie if he knows just how big he is here. He said, "The answer is, I'm huge, huge in the Arab world. The answer as to why is, I don't have the slightest idea."

Albino Blog

Who Knew?
Albinos are condemning the DA VINCI CODE because it has an albino assassin.
I did a quick search of movie albinos, on the Web, and in my own memory. I found:

Albino assassin in FOUL PLAY
Albino killer in COLD MOUNTAIN
TWO albino assassins in THE MATRIX
Stacy Keach as the albino gunfighter in JUDGE ROY BEAN (based on Johnny Winter)
Albino terrorist in THE EIGER SANCTION
Morlocks!
Albino killer in PLUTO NASH.
Demonic entity in END OF DAYS
Christopher Walken in VIEW TO A KILL
Albino hitman in THE FIRM
Gary Busey in LETHAL WEAPON
Albino drug lord strong arm in STICK (Burt Reynolds movie)
Albino vampires in OMEGA MAN
THE JOKER!
Rick Yune as albino villain in DIE ANOTHER DAY

Good albinos? POWDER and one in DISTURBING BEHAVIOR.

A more complete list here: http://www.skinema.com/AlbinismList2005.html

Logo-Free Blog

From the New York Times Magazine:

“Dylan Coyle, who is 24, studies music at San Francisco State University. He has been a vegan for five years and is a careful consumer. Last year, somebody asked him what he wanted for Christmas, and he said he wanted a pair of Blackspot shoes. This was a considered choice: the shoes are made from ‘vegetarian materials,’ including organic hemp and recycled tires. They are manufactured in a ‘safe, comfortable union factory’ in Portugal and sold by the creators of Adbusters, a magazine best known for its withering critique of the advertising business and of mindless materialism. Instead of a logo — or as its logo — the Blackspot is decorated with a rough circle meant to suggest the obliteration of branding; the shoe Coyle wanted is called the Unswoosher, in an unsubtle reference to the most famous shoe logo of all, Nike's swoosh.”

I’m trying to get my mind around this. We’re supposed to want to buy this shoe because its logo isn’t really a logo? It’s a declaration of death to all logos? And since when did recycled tires become "vegetarian materials?"

A Night Out!
The Dread Bride and I took in the Symphony this week, where we saw a performance by Austrian composer HK Gruber. The program was called FRANKENSTEIN!! (Yes, with two exclamation marks.) He composed the music. The lyrics were by Viennese poet HC Artmann. It was just wonderful. It was like watching your favorite drunk uncle reciting bloodthirsty nursery rhymes. With an orchestra enabling him!

Subject matter included: a mouse nibbling a man’s eye, Miss Dracula, Goldfinger, John Wayne, a blood-soaked monster tidying up, a “mi-ma-monsterlet,” a werewolf, Frankenstein (of course), a flying circus rat, Robinson Crusoe (turned cannibal), Superman, the sinister green-haired man (“who likes to eat the ladies”), Batman and Robin, a monster in the park, a baby vampire, Grete Muller (another vampire), and a dead mouse about to become a pistol holder.

Inexplicably, for such a crow-pleasing concert, it was rather sparsely attended. I suspect the fogey subscribers only stagger out of their manses for Mozart.

Sample lyric:
Frankenstein is dancing
Frankenstein is dancing
With the test-tube lady
With the test-tube lady
And my little daughter dear, my daughter dear, it’s you!
And my little daughter dear, little daughter, it’s you!

Herr Gruber’s Austian accent made the program all the more compelling.

Domestic Spying
“Privacy advocates” are in a snit about the revelation that spies are recording every phone call ever made in the United States. Curiously, the American people don’t seem too riled about it.

President Bush, defending his actions, told us: "The privacy of all Americans is fiercely protected in all our activities. The government does not listen to domestic phone calls without court approval. We are not trolling through the personal lives of millions of innocent Americans."

He sounds more aggrieved each time he talks these days, like a put-upon principal whose high-schoolers just won’t behave.

Pass the jackhammer, luv.
From Reuters: “More than 60 percent of Britons use items such as screwdrivers, scissors and earrings to remove food from between their teeth, according to a survey published Friday.”

But will it clean teeth?
From Reuters: “Some say Britain's pungent blue-veined Stilton cheese smells of old socks. But its fans have turned the rare odor into a perfume.”

Sick of The Da Vinci Code yet?
Dr. Erwin Lutzer, pastor of Moody Bible Church in Chicago: "There is a huge battle going on today on who has the best telling of the Christian story. People want to believe the Da Vinci Code so badly because they want a Christ who is manageable, a Jesus that is not going to challenge you or threaten your lifestyle."

Unlike religious conservatives, who want Jesus to give them business tips. Dan Brown’s biggest achievement, in my opinion, is that he managed to make heresy seem silly.

Don Quixote Lives!
I forget where I read this (Slate maybe?), but copywriter Ray Del Salvio wants to turn the word "concept" into verb. He has started a blog, and a letter-writing campaign to get the word into Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary.

Some might wonder: "Why?" To which Del Salvio would probably reply: "Why not?" Personally, I can't concept of this campaign going very far.

Big Ol' Blog

A new one.
There’s a new-ish piece of Brit slang: anorak. It refers to an obsessive collector of any stripe, apparently because the anorak is the apparel of choice for obsessive collectors. When I was in college, we called older female students “wedgies,” because that seemed to be their footwear of choice. Both are examples of metonymy. You’re welcome.

At the grocery store.
A group of learning-disabled people was shopping. As I was checking out, one of them, standing by the exit, shouted, “Watermelons! Whoo!”

Sean Hannity
I was listening to Sean Hannity’s radio show on Thursday, and I noticed he and his callers have a peculiar habit. Often he is greeted with this salutation, “You, sir, are a great American,” or “You’re a great American, sir,” or “Sir, you are a great American.” To which he responds, “You’re a great American, sir,” or “You’re a great American.” All done with the cadence of the old “After you, Alphonse” bit: “Oh no, after YOU.”

I can’t figure this out. Did Sean Hannity invent the telephone, take out a bunker at Normandy, or find a cure for cancer? As far as I know, he’s just a guy with a talk show. How does that confer greatness? And the callers? They’re great Americans because they got off the couch, and CALLED a talk show?

In a nation hungry for heroes, it doesn’t take much to whet the appetite.

Stephen Colbert
At the White House Correspondents' Dinner, Stephen Colbert either tore the President a new one or tanked, depending on your political point of view.

I have seen the video of his performance and lean toward the former (because of my political point of view), but it is odd that he delivers his comedy via the persona of “Stephen Colbert,” a Bill O’Reilly caricature (or, as Colbert describes him: a “high status idiot”). In other words, he is speaking truth to power by pretending to be somebody who would never in a million years speak truth to power. Or “truthiness,” I suppose.

I like Stephen Colbert, and find him very funny. On the other hand, after his appearance, leftie bloggers immediately complained that the Main Stream Media had ignored Colbert - despite coverage in the Washington Post, and Time Magazine, among other places. I first read about it from the Associated Press.

Michael Scherer in Salon claimed that Colbert "uncovered the inner workings of the ever-cheapening discourse that passes for political debate. He reversed and flattened the meaning of the words he spoke." In other words, Colbert’s appearance was satirical. Stop the presses!

And a commentator on the Daily Kos posted this: “Where the media fails, the citizens step up. The Colbert critique has gone viral, with internet users rapidly emailing it to thousands online (I've received three forwards of it already).”

Email Colbert to your fellow sans-culottes! To the barricades!

“So go ahead, give life to Colbert's Harry Taylor moment. Email the video to your friends, your family, Republican, Independent, and Democrat alike. I have, and in doing so, I know that Stephen Colbert speaks for me.”

If you’ll recall, Harry Taylor is the guy who went off on President Bush at a q and a earlier this year: “I feel like despite your rhetoric, that compassion and common sense have been left far behind during your administration. And I would hope from time to time that you have the humility and grace to be ashamed of yourself.”

Well now, as far as Stephen Colbert “speaking” for you, like Harry Taylor: Harry Taylor is a real guy, “Stephen Colbert” is not. Tom Paine was a real guy, for instance. “Stephen Colbert” is a comic actor with a late night television show on cable. I suspect he’d be amused or appalled to think that he speaks for anybody.

In a nation hungry for heroes, etc.

Speaking truth to power
Can we retire this phrase now? Thank you.

Sean Hannity redux.
At one point in his show, he claimed that listeners get information from his program that they won’t get from the Main Stream Media. Hello? Sean Hannity IS the Main Stream Media. Didn’t he get the memo?

Cole/Hitchens/Sullivan
So Christopher Hitchens wrote an article in Slate tearing Juan Cole a new one (or maybe he tanked – look it up and you decide). He wrote - concerning statements by Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and the late Ayatollah Khomeini - accusing Juan Cole, professor of history and leftie pundit, of denying that “Ahmadinejad, or indeed Khomeini, had ever made this call for the removal of Israel from the map. Cole is a minor nuisance on the fringes of the academic Muslim apologist community.”

Hitchens: “Here is what he wrote on the "Gulf 2000" e-mail chat-list on April 22:

Cole: “It bears repeating as long as the accusation is made. Ahmadinejad did not ‘threaten’ to ‘wipe Israel off the map.’ I'm not sure there is even such an idiom in Persian. He quoted Khomeini to the effect that ‘the Occupation regime must end’. (ehtelal bayad az bayn berad). And, no, it is not the same thing.”

Hitchens: “For a start, let us look at the now-famous speech that Ahmadinejad actually gave at the Interior Ministry on Oct. 26, 2005. (I am using the translation made by Nazila Fathi of the New York Times Tehran bureau, whose Persian is probably the equal of Professor Cole's.) The relevant portions read: ‘Our dear Imam [Khomeini] said that the occupying regime must be wiped off the map and this was a very wise statement.’

In his blog, Juan Cole responded: “Christopher Hitchens owes me a big apology. I belong to a private email discussion group called Gulf2000. It has academics, journalists and policy makers on it. It has a strict rule that messages appearing there will not be forwarded off the list…and is intended to allow the participants to converse about controversial matters without worrying about being in trouble. Also, in an informal email discussion, ideas evolve, you make mistakes and they get corrected, etc. It is a rough, rough draft.”

He goes on to explain: “The precise reason for Hitchens' theft and publication of my private mail is that I object to the characterization of Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad as having ‘threatened to wipe Israel off the map.’ I object to this translation of what he said on two grounds. First, it gives the impression that he wants to play Hitler to Israel's Poland, mobilizing an armored corps to move in and kill people.

“But the actual quote, which comes from an old speech of Khomeini, does not imply military action, or killing anyone at all. The second reason is that it is just an inexact translation. The phrase is almost metaphysical. He quoted Khomeini that ‘the occupation regime over Jerusalem should vanish from the page of time.’”

Cole adds: “I should again underline that I personally despise everything Ahmadinejad stands for, not to mention the odious Khomeini, who had personal friends of mine killed so thoroughly that we have never recovered their bodies. Nor do I agree that the Israelis have no legitimate claim on any part of Jerusalem.”

Juan Cole wonders why Hitchens shouold attack him so vehemently:

“How to explain this peculiar behavior on the part of someone who was at one time one of our great men of letters?

“Well, I don't think it is any secret that Hitchens has for some time had a very serious and debilitating drinking problem. He once showed up drunk to a talk I gave and heckled me. I can only imagine that he was deep in his cups when he wrote, or had some far Rightwing think tank write, his current piece of yellow journalism. I am sorry to witness the ruin of a once-fine journalistic mind.”

Christopher Hitchens? Drunk? Stop the presses!

But wait. Now Andrew Sullivan weighs in on his blog (he admits to being friends with both Hitchens and Cole).

"I was not aware - and maybe Hitch wasn't either …- that the email quoted was for a strictly private list. I didn't quote it myself, but I linked. I'm a strong believer in the principle of online privacy, if at all possible, and regret unknowingly violating that rule, and apologize for that inadvertence. Cole, however, trashes whatever high ground he might have sought by accusing Hitch of writing the piece drunk…. By pure coincidence, I was at Hitch's yesterday as he filed the piece. He was stone-cold sober. And on top form. It is Cole who owes Hitch an apology. Hitch stuck to the issues; Cole got personal.”

He then goes on to ask what “…the technical question of what ‘wiping Israel off the map’ means. It could mean a bombing, nuking or military invasion; it could mean its simple ceasing to exist, through some kind of violent uprising among Palestinians.”
…
“Whatever it means, Ahmadinejad's desire to end Israel's existence and establish Islamist rule in Palestine cannot mean anything but the annihilation of the Jews therein. Coles' semantic point seems to me to crumble upon inspection.”

To which Cole responds:

“Hitchens not Drunk, Only an Asinine Thief

“I'm told Andrew Sullivan is saying that he was at Hitchens's house when Hitchens stole my private mail and published it without my permission, and that he was sober, and that I owe Hitchens an apology.

“I am very sorry to hear this. Hitchens came drunk to my talk last year and was incoherent. I was making excuses for his shocking lapse of simple journalistic integrity by hoping that it was the outcome of besotted judgement. If Sullivan is correct, then Hitchens is just plain without any ethics.

…yadda yadda…

“I had so hoped that the purloined email and the bizarre characterization of my argument, and the attempt of this Western journalist who is clueless about reading Persian texts to correct my philology, was the mere result of too many whiskey sours taken too early in the morning.

“I see that instead it is mere asininity and lack of character. Thanks to Sullivan for settling the issue.”

Israel wiped from the face of the earth or simply erased from the pages of history? Hitchens drunk or asinine? You decide. I present this little snapshot of modern discourse for you to ponder.

On the Ambien
Sean Hannity was all up in arms about Patrick Kennedy, because he had driven his car into a barricade in DC at three o’clock in the morning, and was then found by the Capitol Police wandering around unsteadily. A Kennedy in his cups is news? Like robins in the spring, a Kennedy in his cups is bound to appear somewhere, pretty much on a daily basis.

Hannityheads were all a’twitter because the cops hadn’t given Kennedy a breathalyzer test. Capitol Police claim they were stopped from giving him the test, which further irritated the Hannityheads.

Kennedy claimed the next day that he hadn’t been drinking, but was suffering from a reaction to drugs he’d been taking, including Ambien, and he was going to check himself into Mayo Clinic for treatment.

This also irritated radioland, which smelled a cover-up. Radioland was also irritated by its perception that Rush Limbaugh had been unfairly hounded by the media for his addiction to oxycontin, while liberal Patrick Kennedy was being treated with kid gloves.

Well, I don’t know about that. Do a Google on Patrick Kennedy, and there are plenty of harsh words to be found. On the other hand, like I said - an intoxicated Kennedy? Stop the presses!

And Ambien has become increasingly ambient in America. CBS News reports that sales of sleeping medications have increased 55 percent since 2001. In 2005, some 2 billion dollars were spent on Ambien, and similar meds, like Lunesta and Sonata.

And Ambien often comes with bizarre side effects, like sleep walking, sleep driving, and even sleep eating. A researcher at the Minnesota Regional Sleep Disorders Center in Minneapolis told CBS: "We've had people eat very inappropriate things that they would never eat while awake. Some examples would be buttered cigarettes, salt sandwiches, raw bacon."

Back in 2003, Colin Powell, being interviewed for a London based Saudi newspaper, was asked if he took sleeping pills. Powell told the reporter, “Yes. Well, I wouldn't call them that. They're a wonderful medication — not medication. How would you call it? They're called Ambien, which is very good. You don't use Ambien? Everybody here uses Ambien."

Everybody here uses Ambien? Does he mean everybody in the Bush administration? Do side effects include leaking, denial, obfuscation, and saber rattling? That would explain a lot. I wonder if President Bush finds himself sleep-bicycling at night, riding around the Oval Office, and stuffing his face with pretzels. Alert the Main Stream Media! I mean - Give Sean Hannity a call! He, sir, is a great American.

Semi-finally
From Reuters:
…
Critics have accused Bush of hypocrisy for opposing a Spanish language version of the anthem.

They pointed to a book called AMERICAN DYNASTY by Kevin Phillips, who wrote that Bush "would drop in at Hispanic festivals and parties, sometimes joining in singing 'The Star-Spangled Banner' in Spanish."

(From the book, p. 142: “When visiting cities like Chicago, Milwaukee, or Philadelphia, in pivotal states, he would drop in at Hispanic festivals and parties, sometimes joining in singing ‘The Star-Spangled Banner’ in Spanish, sometimes partying with a ‘Viva Bush’ mariachi band flown in from Texas.”)


Penultimately: Anthem anathema
The blog, Eschaton, put this timeline together. I have cut and pasted it here.

AP, 1998: Helping matters, Bush also speaks fluent Spanish. So does his brother, Jeb Bush, who is married to a Mexican-American and was elected governor of Florida, thanks in part to a strong Hispanic vote.

Portsmouth Herald, 1999: Bush also took a question from a Spanish reporter and answered in fluent Spanish.

Pat Robertson on CNN, 2/24/2000: Well, I think he could say that, but I think he's made it clear. He said it in Michigan. He said, "Look, I'm not anti-Catholic, and I don't support racism." I mean, this guy has put together a coalition in Texas of Hispanics -- he speaks fluent Spanish -- of -- of African- Americans, of Democrats. I mean, he is a very, very tolerant, broad-based guy. And I think that the media's spinning this thing way out of proportion to what really happened. That's my feeling.

New York Times, 2/28/00 (Nicholas Kristof reporting): He also showed off his Spanish, which is fluent, by firing off a sentence in Spanish.

McLaughlin Group, 6/2000: MR. O'DONNELL: Absolutely, and they both -- they both do it well. I mean, George W. Bush is fluent in Spanish.

National Review, 4/2000: Yes, indeed. He was fluent in Spanish, which appeals to that minority, and he was fluent in gibberish-the touchy-feely Clintonian hogwash that the elusive "soccer mom" is said to go bananas over.

PBS, 5/9/2000: RICHARD RODRIGUEZ: I was listening the other day to Governor Bush speak fluent Spanish to Hispanic voters when it struck me that Spanish is becoming unofficially, but truly, the second language of the United States.

CNN 8/2000: PRESS: Well, I wonder how good George Bush's Spanish is. Did he know what the lyrics were before he said they ought to play the song at the convention? I don't know.

O'BRIEN: Yes, he says he's fluent.

Morning call, 4/22/06: It's also good to see President Bush, (a fluent Spanish-speaker, by the way), leading the vision for comprehensive immigration reform based on three elements: border security, effective immigration law enforcement, and very importantly, a temporary worker program.

Scott McClellan, May, 2006: The president speaks Spanish, but not that well….I'm saying that not only was that suggestion absurd, but that he couldn't possibly sing the national anthem in Spanish. He's not that good with his Spanish.

Finally, a metaphor?
“The Spanish wire service EFE reports that Bush speaks Spanish ‘poorly’ but with great confidence.”