Sunday, August 17, 2008


Another reason not to vote for Obama…
TIME: “…[T]he ad — which includes images of Charlton Heston as Moses and culled clips that make Obama sound truly egomaniacal — taps into a conversation that has been gaining urgency on Christian radio and political blogs and in widely circulated e-mail messages that accuse Obama of being the Antichrist.”

Deny THAT, Barack!

David Duke weighs in….
Last February, he wrote, “Compelling evidence shows that Barack Obama is an Afro-American whose ultimate loyalty is not to ‘all the people of the United States,’ but primarily to his fellow African-Americans.”

But then, in March, he told the New Republic, that he doesn’t "…see much difference in Barack Obama than Hillary Clinton--or, for that matter, John McCain.”

And, in August, he wrote that Obama, “…helps make everything very clear to our people. He paves the way for thousands of other candidates on the American horizon, White candidates who stand up for our own people the way that Obama stands up for his.”

So a vote for Obama is a vote for a “new age of racially conscious American politics.”

Put on your sheets and go to the polls!

Oh shut up.
Cokie Roberts on ABC’S THIS WEEK, took a stance on Obama’s vacatio choice: “I know his grandmother lives in Hawaii and I know Hawaii is a state, but it has the look of him going off to some sort of foreign, exotic place. He should be at Myrtle Beach and if he’s going to take a vacation at this time. I just think this is not the time to do that.”

Then she followed up on NPR’s MORNING EDITION: “It's a little rough to be doing it at this point, although I think he's feeling somewhat secure, but Hawaii is also a somewhat odd place to be doing it. I know that he is from Hawaii, he grew up there, his grandmother lives there, but he has made such a point about how he is from Kansas, you know, the boy from Kansas and Kenya, and it makes him seem a little bit more exotic than perhaps he would want to come across as at this stage in the presidential campaign.”

So he should have gone on vacation in Kansas? Or Kenya?

Myrtle Beach, by the way, is in South Carolina. I am given to understand that Cokie Roberts has a vacation home there. Myrtle Beach has over a hundred golf courses, and fifty miniature golf courses. According to the Myrtle Beach web site, when it comes to mini-golf, you can choose “…from a myriad of themes, from man-eating dinosaurs and lava-spewing volcanoes to high seas adventures aboard pirate ships.” Sounds pretty exotic to me.

Dr. Rice (from the Huffington Post)
“I don't believe Condoleezza Rice can actually play piano. Everything else she's ever touched has been a fraud and a catastrophe, why should her alleged musical abilities be any different? Think about it. Think about any event she's been even remotely involved in since you first heard her name. An endless string of threats and blundering and arrogant bluffs turned squalid pigfucks. It's not that she can't do her job; she can't do anything. I think when she plays piano the piano catches fire and the audience dies.”

Bon Appetit
Julia Child was a spy for the OSS during World War II.

Pause for laughs.
THE WEEKLY STANDARD reveals a gag from AN AMERICAN CAROL, a new film by David (AIRPLANE) Zucker:
“The set jumps to life. Two young men--both terrorists--enter the station. They are surprised to see a security checkpoint manned by two NYPD officers. ‘I'll need to see your bag, please,’ says one of the officers. The lead terrorist glances nervously at his friend and swings his backpack down from his shoulder to present it to the cops. Just as the officer pulls on the zipper, however, a small army of ACLU lawyers marches up to the policemen with a stop-search order. The cops look at each other and shrug their shoulders. ‘This says we can't search their bags.’

“The young men are relieved. They smile fiendishly as they walk toward the crowded platform. As the lead terrorist once again slips the backpack over his shoulder, he mutters his appreciation.

“‘Thank Allah for the ACLU.’”

That’s just a sample of the fun to be had at this yock-filled chucklefest, coming soon straight to a DVD near you.

Fly the friendly skies. Ka-ching!
NYT: “In just a few short months, the airlines have discovered to their glee that their customers are willing to pay for most everything from checked bags to soft drinks to pillows and blankets — and are doing so without much fuss. With that knowledge in hand, the airlines aren’t about to stop.”

I like the image of gleeful airlines! Do they chortle, I wonder? Clap their little hands together in delight? As we, like stunned cattle, move ponderously down the aisle, clutching our quarters for the rest room?

Who’s not watching the Olympics?

McCain and the bikers.
Appearing at the Sturgis Bike Rally earlier this month, John McCain told the crowd, “I was looking at the Sturgis schedule and noticed that you have a beauty pageant and so I encouraged Cindy to compete. With a little luck, she could be on the only woman ever to serve as both the first lady and Miss Buffalo Chip.”

Mr. McCain was apparently unaware that the competition for Miss Buffalo Chip frequently involves toplessness. And bottomlessness.

Georgia on my mind
Robert Scheer offered the opinion in a recent column: “Is it possible that this time the October surprise was tried in August, and that the garbage issue of brave little Georgia struggling for its survival from the grasp of the Russian bear was stoked to influence the U.S. presidential election?”

He suggests that one “Randy Scheunemann, for four years a paid lobbyist for the Georgian government who ended his official lobbying connection only in March, months after he became Republican presidential candidate John McCain's senior foreign policy adviser,” goaded Georgian president Mikheil Saakashvili into attacking South Ossetia, with the assurance that the West had his back. Of course, Russia was bound to react. And, of course, the West did nothing.

Scheer wrote, “What is at work here is a neoconservative, self-fulfilling prophecy in which Russia is turned into an enemy that expands its largely reduced military, and Putin is cast as the new Josef Stalin bogeyman, evoking images of the old Soviet Union.”

Well, maybe. But the Russian army responded pretty darn quickly, suggesting that the Russian army had been more than ready for this invasion, and Putin was just waiting for an excuse, any excuse, to launch one. Kind of like Hitler and Poland!

Putin may not be the new Josef Stalin, but he seems scary enough to me.

Ooh baby, eh?
Reuters: “The Canadian Radio-Television and Telecommunications Commission (CRTC) approved the Category 2 pay-television service on Wednesday, allowing Northern Peaks to become ‘Canada's first adult video channel offering significant Canadian adult content.’”

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Long Time No Blog

Hi! Atus!
I have been absent from the blogosphere (and don’t we hate that word though?) for a few weeks. Hi! My mother is about to have her hip replaced, after much hemming and hawing around it. But she had emergency ulcer surgery in January, and the lack of ensuing pain finally convinced her that even though she’s 82, quality of life matters. She’s lost thirty pounds, has color back in her cheeks, and received a very fetching new hair do. My father, in the meantime, is not quite in the moment if you know what I mean, and many of you, I’m sure, do. So I will have to do some Dad sitting while Mother is in recovery, because he will have no idea what’s going on.

Also I’ve been dealing with another virus infestation. Or maybe it’s the same infestation as before. I think I have finally removed all traces of Trojan from my PC. I think it’s odd that this virus is called a Trojan. Shouldn’t it be called a Greek? Because it was the Greeks who entered Troy through a trick.

Birthday Q
Had a bunch of people over yesterday in honor of the Wee Bride’s birthday. She is 39. Really. Brats, chicken, beer, and the thick aroma of burning coals! That’s what summer is all about.

Our cat, Rocky, turns one today as well. He doesn’t seem to be aware of that fact.

More signs of the times
From “Apprehension,” a crime column in the East Bay Express: “…Stolen golf clubs are an ongoing trend and stolen license plates… are an emerging trend, and in Walnut Creek on July 23, three Caucasian men were seen dismantling three aluminum benches…. In Martinez on July 25… two Caucasian men were arrested for uprootng a parking meter and stealing it….”

More signs of the times
Willamette Week: “Oregon State Police blame soaring prices at the pump for a sharp increase in how many urine-filled bottles litter crews find on a stretch of Interstate 84.”

From “The Trolls Among Us,” in the New York Times Sunday Magazine, some rules for trolls:

“You look for someone who is full of it, a real blowhard. Then you exploit their insecurities to get an insane amount of drama, laughs and lulz. Rules would be simple: 1. Do whatever it takes to get lulz. 2. Make sure the lulz is widely distributed. This will allow for more lulz to be made. 3. The game is never over until all the lulz have been had.”

One troll, Weeve, explained: “I hack, I ruin, I make piles of money… I make people afraid for their lives…. Trolling is basically Internet eugenics. I want everyone off the Internet. Bloggers are filth. They need to be destroyed. Blogging gives the illusion of participation to a bunch of retards. . . . We need to put these people in the oven!”

Strategies against Obama, so far.
He’s not fat, so you shouldn’t vote for him.

(Really. From the Wall Street Journal: “But in a nation in which 66% of the voting-age population is overweight and 32% is obese, could Sen. Obama's skinniness be a liability? Despite his visits to waffle houses, ice-cream parlors and greasy-spoon diners around the country, his slim physique just might have some Americans wondering whether he is truly like them.”)

He’s too popular, therefore you shouldn’t vote for him.

(As the McCain ad says, "He's the biggest celebrity in the world.")

He gives some practical advice for car owners to save on gas mileage, therefore he should be mocked, and you shouldn’t vote for him.

Another sign of the times?
A man in Jacksonville Florida called 911, twice, because a sandwich shop made his sub incorrectly.

Anthrax, anyone?
Recent events made me recall that the anthrax scare had America much jumpier than the events of 9/11. Remember? People were stocking up on duct tape, to seal their windows; people were suspicious of anything powdered.

Anthrax 2
From Wikipedia: “During the 2001 anthrax attacks in the United States, the band altered its website to provide information about the disease because many people had come there simply by entering in their browsers. Amid what could have become a PR nightmare for the band, Anthrax issued a press release on October 10, 2001, that jokingly mentioned that they were going to change the name of the band to ‘something more friendly, like “Basket Full of Puppies”.’ The band later put a nail in the coffin of all of the name-change rumors that erupted from the press release at the New York Steel 9/11 benefit concert in November 2001, when they took the stage wearing boiler suits with a different word on each one that, when they stood single-file in a specific order, spelled out the sentence ‘WE'RE NOT CHANGING OUR NAME’. “