Thursday, July 07, 2011

Weiner dog weiner blog

Weiner… showed his weiner!
I have to wonder if Weiner’s last name weren’t Weiner, would that flap have lasted so long? A Johnson would have been pretty good as well, I guess, and of course, there’s Boehner (that’s BAY ner! BAY ner!), and Dick Cheney. Also Dick Nixon, but he’s dead. (“Pull out like your father should have.” Remember that? Political discourse has always been thus.)

Has always been thus.
One of the plus sides of the new crudity in political discourse is that the phrase “… has always been thus” does not have the ubiquity it once possessed.

Zuckerberg: Carnivore

"The only meat I'm eating is from animals I've killed myself," says Zuckerberg.
He posted, on Facebook, “I just killed a pig and a goat.”

Go the bleep to sleep.
So the faux-children’s book, GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP (about an exhausted Dad’s attempt to get toddler to etc.), the object of much hilarity and controversy, is finally a real best-selling book. Nothing can live up to the title, gentle readers. The author should have let it rest.

And, sure enough, Katie Roiphe, described by Gawker as “one of the leading sex-opinion-havers of American letters,” (Gawker ought to know) has weighed in on the book and its author in SLATE:

‘The book, in all its cleverness and artfulness and ingenuity, raises certain other questions: Are they having sex, these slouchy rageful parents? Not enough, perhaps. When the father turns back to the waking child's bedroom, we look out at the comfy, sexless, vaguely depressive scene of his wife sprawled asleep on the couch under an ugly old blanket….’

See what happens when you turn a one-liner into a book? You get forelock-tugging about vast cultural implications!

I eagerly await the sequel. LET US NOW HAVE DISGRUNTLED EXHAUSTED SEX, PLEASE, COME ON HONEY. HONEY? HONEY… It will be a sad, short book that will become an unfunny comedy with Jason Segel and Jennifer Anniston. I will not see it.

Murdoch shuts down treasured newspaper!

Thousands of phone accounts have been hacked for no apparent reason by Rupert Murdoch’s Sunday newspaper NEWS OF THE WORLD. Thanks to the tireless (I mean REALLY tireless) investigation from Nick Davies at the UK Guardian, it has been discovered that the journalists at NEWS OF THE WORLD, via private detectives, had not only hacked the cell phone answering service of a missing person, but deleted messages, in the hope (apparently) of making room for more. Unfortunately, the missing person, Milly Dowling, was already dead. This action by NEWS OF THE WORLD could, I believe, I’m no expert, be termed evidence-tampering.

In the wake of the growing “controversy,” Murdoch shut down the newspaper, which has been around for over a century and a half. Rebekah Fleming, News International Chief Executive, held a tearful farewell for Mr. Murdoch’s beloved former employees. She said, “The Guardian newspaper were out to get us, and they got us.” As of this writing, she is still employed. But, Guardian, watch out. Rupert will buy you, and then destroy you.

Maybe we need soldier journalists. Arm competent warriors with appropriate weapons and state of the art recording devices. Send them out into the world to create wars, and simultaneously report them. Sounds like a win-win to me.

Glenn Beck
Glenn Beck, formerly of Fox News, a Rupert Murdoch entity, now seeking to build a mini-empire of his own, went with his family (and security detail) to Bryant Park in NYC to see a free screening of Alfred Hitchcock’s THE 39 STEPS. There, he was recognized. Various Tweets from the audience emerged. At some point, the folks behind him spilled some wine which may or may not have landed on the wife of Mrs. Beck. In her vicinity, anyway. The Becks left before the end of the movie.

Subsequently Mr. Beck, on his now defunct broadcast, spent ten minutes or so feeling sad about America. Among other things he said (approximately), “If you are sitting on a blanket, or anyplace, next to a guy that you vehemently disagree with, don’t kick your beverage on them, and certainly not their wife….”

The beverage kicker in question began to e-mail GAWKER and other publications to tell her side of the story. Her e-mail promptly showed up on Glenn Beck’s web site, Well, you can imagine what happened….

Obscene e-mails to the woman to the person behind the Glenn Beck party: "GET A LIFE YOU LOSER CUNT" And "It is with great pleasure I informed your mother that abortion is a right! You should have been aborted a$$hole!~"

From the larger blogosphere: “Tomorrow is ‘Punch a liberal in the face’ day.” That’s from Human events dot com. As is this: “…make it "Bring your own club day.” Although most of us Vets are perfectly capable with our fists!... Maybe it's the Concealed Carry laws, or that we don't mind bouncing them off a wall a few times in my neck of the woods!”

Ann Coulter wrote: “Maybe it's time for Beck to pony up some of those millions of dollars he's earned and hire people to rough up the liberal mob, or, at a minimum, to provide a legal defense to those …who do.”

All this, from a little spilled wine at a Hitchcock movie. Good movie too. I recommend it. The villain looks like Franklin Delano Roosevelt. But, of course, that doesn’t mean that he is. Ask Dr. Memory!

4 Comments:

OpenID austin-dern said...

_The 39 Steps_ was also turned into a pretty nifty Broadway comedy, with a mere four people playing all the parts. Remarkably it didn't change much of the movie's story or dialogue, and was ingenious in having the people not playing the Richard Donant part double up as other characters.

This is not to suggest I endorse deliberately throwing wine at people who are somehow related to Glenn Beck.

Also, Bryant Park has this adorably tiny carousel right where the bust of Goethe can glare at the riders. I don't know what Goethe would think of Hitchcock.

12:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Forget the book “Go the F**k to Sleep”, a pathetic, soul-less, allegedly rebel, ‘children’s book’. Don’t waste your hard-earned money, instead read a BANNED book like “America Deceived II” by a real rebel and the “World’s Most Hated Author”, E.A. Blayre III.
Last link (before Google Books bans it also]:
http://www.iuniverse.com/Bookstore/BookDetail.aspx?BookId=SKU-000190526

11:16 AM  
Blogger Merle Kessler said...

Shouldn't I read AMERICA DECEIVED I first?

11:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmmm, if you have people playing more than one part in a "39 Steps" play, is there a risk of the paranoic interpretation that in-the-world-of-the-play, these are all the same person pretending to be different people? Or maybe that's INTENDED... ;-)

-D.E.

2:41 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home