Friday, November 12, 2004

Hi Bob!

Meet Biblical Norm!
Bob Jones has posted a letter to President Bush on the Bob Jones University web site, writing, "In your re-election, God has graciously granted America — though she doesn't deserve it — a reprieve from the agenda of paganism…. You have been given a mandate. ... Put your agenda on the front burner and let it boil. You owe the liberals nothing. They despise you because they despise your Christ"

He continues: “Undoubtedly, you will have opportunity to appoint many conservative judges and exercise forceful leadership with the Congress in passing legislation that is defined by biblical norm…..”

A visit to the Bob Jones University web site will further inform you that Bob Jones is also hitting the boards, playing the title role in a campus production of CYRANO DE BERGERAC. He also makes keys, is a notary public, and prays for us daily.

Thanks, Bob! But we don’t deserve it.

Blogged down.
Retired CBS correspondent Eric Engberg bitch-slapped blogospheroids on the CBS.com web site. “The public is now assaulted by news and pretend-news from many directions, thanks to the now infamous ‘information superhighway.’ But the ability to transmit words, we learned during the Citizens Band radio fad of the 70’s, does not mean that any knowledge is being passed along. One of the verdicts rendered by election night 2004 is that, given their lack of expertise, standards and, yes, humility, the chances of the bloggers replacing mainstream journalism are about as good as the parasite replacing the dog it fastens on.”

Ten four, Andrew Sullivan, good buddy.

Priceless.
Dr. Stuart Meloy, a pain researcher, was testing a new device to treat chronic pain. He placed an electrode on a female patient’s spine. "When we turned on the power in this case, she let out a moan and began hyperventilating," Meloy told Good Morning America. "Of course we cut the power and I looked around the drapes and asked her what was going on. Once she caught her breath, she said 'you're gonna have to teach my husband how to do that!' "

Now plans are being made to remarket the device - which is about the same size as a pacemaker, and can be run via remote control - as a marital aid.

“If approved for this use,” goes the story on the ABC news web site, “the orgasmatron device and implantation could cost up to $17,000, but Meloy says he believes some women would be happy to pay that amount to have the orgasmatron permanently embedded in their lower backs. He says the device could be implanted on an outpatient basis.”

It could have been worse. Darn it.
The Segway is, of course, the stubbornly unpopular scooter that pretty near drives itself, and Roomba is the surprisingly popular robot vacuum cleaner.

At something called the Accelerating Change conference, one Cory Onrejka, according to his blog, watched in amazement as“… a fast moving Segway, slightly out of control, met Roomba, zipping across the floor like a suicidal squirrel. Amazingly, neither seemed the worse for the wear. The Segway popped up and over while Roomba emitted a few beeps from button presses but both continued on their way. Impressive engineering on several levels, actually. Roomba, for surviving the impact unharmed and Segway for not tipping over."

DVD News.
We are waiting for the next rev, after which we will be checking the nav bars, to make sure they take us where they are supposed to take us. Then the art work will be assembled, and it will be sent off to the magical gnomes who will duplicate them for us, and then we will sell them to you, the discerning consumer. Right now: twiddling.




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