Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Click on this.

Poor us.
The massive faux despair by the left after the recent election is rather pathetic, don’t you think? It may have been the most important election of our lifetimes, but still, it was just another election. All this talk of moving to Canada, and apologizing to the world - well stop it. Our guy lost, that’s all. It happens.

On the other hand, if the ruling elite don’t stop calling people like me elite, I may have to do some bitch-slapping.

Hog butcher of the world!
The city of Chicago, in its wisdom, may soon be installing Global Positioning System technology on Chicago Park District employees.

Parks Supt. Timothy Mitchell told the Chicago Sun-Times, “We could look at a map and pinpoint them.” He claims that this would “allow the district to keep better records of how long jobs take and what work has been done,” though some have suggested that this is just a high-tech way of making sure workers aren’t sleeping on the job.

No, no, says Mitchell: GPS would provide greater "efficiencies,' helping dispatch crews to jobs quicker in an emergency.

The unions are not convinced. SEIU Local 73 spokeswoman Joanna Misnik said, “Efficiency? How efficient is it to have park supervisors cleaning bathrooms?''

She called current staffing levels "abominable.'' But now they have satellite access! Life is wonderful!

Bill is coming over here tomorrow, along with the long-suffering Ed Rachles, who is going to snap new headshots of us for the Duck’s Breath DVD cover. Simultaneously, kind of, Jim Turner and Leon Martell will have themselves photographed in the sun-dappled Hades the world calls Hollywood, and Dan Coffey will squeeze into a photo booth at a Wal-Mart in southeast Iowa. Then, at a given signal, all photographs will converge, to be Photoshopped within an inch of their lives.

After our little photo shoot, Bill and I will hunker and confab about what audio will greet the viewer as her or she navigates through the menus. He and I will probably be responsible for all of that, both writing and performing.


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