Monday, November 01, 2004

Don't forget to boo!

Three generations of Punk, maybe four
My wife and I spent the weekend in Davis, motelling it in a mini-vacation, and visiting my Aged Parents, where I spent the Halloween afternoon cleaning leaves and gunk out of their gutters. We did get in a few hands of pinochle, however, which is what these visits are really all about.

Taking the train home, we were joined on BART by various conglomerations of young people in Halloween guises, all headed for San Francisco and the annual Castro District party. One of them, costumed as Kurt Cobain, spotted a woman with dyed blonde hair and thick eyeliner, and shouted at her, “You killed me, Courtney! Release the box set!”

She yelled back, “I’m not Courtney! I’m Nancy!”

Sign in Davis bookstore.
Sophie (the bookstore dog)…is sweet, but shy. Making eye contact or noticing her will cause her to bark in fear. Please ignore her. Thank you.

The strangest thing about Osama’s return to the media, for me, was how presidential he seemed to want to be. He made little jokes (if he was against freedom, he would have bombed Sweden, ha ha). He changed his appearance – instead of the wild man in the cave, we were shown the serene mullah (with blow-dried beard), at a lectern, complete with a back drop.

His disconnection from American reality, however, is even more extreme that the American disconnection from American reality. Sneering at President Bush, he said, "It never occurred to us that the commander in chief of the American forces would leave 50,000 citizens in the two towers to face those horrors alone at a time when they most needed him because he thought listening to a child discussing her goat and its ramming was more important than the planes and their ramming of the skyscrapers.”

So, he is outraged over the horror he himself engineered, and manages to blame Bush for not being as outraged as he is.

Which leads me to the question: Does he want our vote?

Bush hasn’t talked about him in a while, so maybe people have forgotten that he’s the guy responsible for 9/11. Maybe he could be a dark horse candidate. Say, what’s his position on stem cell research and late term abortions? Give Karl Rove a call. We could be on to something.

In every presidential election since 1936, I read today, the Redskins' last home game has accurately predicted the winner. If they win, the incumbent president's party wins. If they lose, the challenger wins. Yay!

But remember: if the cast members of SEINFELD should have a hit series before the polls close, it means another four years of groundhogs being afraid of their shadows. Babe Ruth’s vengeful ghost will see to that.

So don’t forget to vote, or something terrible will happen to you. Emily Schwarz of Brooklyn forgot to vote in 2004, and she was run over by a car. Pass this message along, and be sure put yourself at the top of the list.


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