Sunday, October 17, 2004

Hey! Here's an idea!

Tonight, viewers (and non-viewers as well, I suppose) of LAW AND ORDER: CRIMINAL INTENT will get to vote on whether arch-villain Nicole Wallace will live or die.

(Of course, even if she is put to death, it might not mean anything. Sherlock Holmes was killed off once, you may recall, only to live again. And Ernst Stavro Blofeld died in a bunch of James Bond movies, only to bounce back.)

With the success of reality television, scripted shows are feeling pressure. Soon non-actors may be asked to perform autopsies on CSI: WHATEVER, in competition for valuable prizes. Presidential candidates may be asked to forego debates, and instead wrestle naked in Jell-o. We will have LAW AND ORDER spin-offs in which viewers vote on what crime will be committed, and which LAW AND ORDER team will be dispatched to solve it.

Duck’s Breath too must fit into the new reality.

That is why we are toying with the idea of you, or someone like you, choosing which one of us to kick out of the group, perhaps even be killed; we haven’t quite worked out the liability angles on that yet. It’s too late for one of us to die on the DVD (it’s almost finished, and should be available to you mid-November by the way), but we are hoping to do a live performance or two after its release. One of us could be killed then, as an encore. The publicity value, if nothing else, would be priceless. And there would be fewer people to share the profits!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, wait a minute! Would this be like "Kill Bill?"

8:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Does is have to be a ember of teh troupe? Can't we vote instead to have a DB character killed off? How about Mr. Nifty putting out a contract on that sensitive guy Danno, or that pair of AM radio sports pundits from "Stump the Stalion", or that irritating Denny, the corporate shrink?

Will J. in San Jose

1:20 PM  

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