Monday, November 08, 2004

November surprise

October Surprise
The October Surprise turned out to be Osama Bin Laden, and his latest video, competing with Eminem’s MOSH, and the Swift Boat ads, as the most compelling must-see teevee during Campaign 2004.

Both right and left tried to turn the video to their advantage, the right claiming that it amounted to an endorsement of Kerry by Bin Laden, and the left claiming that the very continued existence of Bin Laden was proof that President Bush is a failure as a leader.

Nobody seemed to pay attention to what Bin Laden had done, however. Essentially, he’d given himself a makeover! Gone was the cave, and camouflage. Instead, a nice back drop, a lectern, golden robes, and a blow-dried beard.

And he was a kinder, gentler Bin Laden. His advisers, the Karl Roves of militant Islam, I assume, even gave him a couple of jokes. I especially liked his response to the accusation that he hated freedom. He said if he hated freedom, he would’ve bombed Sweden, ha ha.

He even indulges in a bit of spin that all the operations, claiming that the events of 9/11 had been timed to be carried out within 20 minutes.

He says, “…because it seemed to him that occupying himself by talking to the little girl about the goat and its butting was more important than occupying himself with the planes and their butting of the skyscrapers, we were given three times the period required to execute the operations - all praise is due to Allah.”

So: it was President Bush’s fault. Who knows? Over time, and if he keeps hammering on that message, people outside his ever-widening circle of killers, may believe him.

He’s already got more name recognition that John Kerry. If he continues to soften his tone, maybe shave his beard, get a nice 3-piece suit, get some footage of himself playing soccer with children, maybe, keep reminding people that his politics are truly faith-based….

It’s a long shot, I know, but if Arnold gets the Constitution amended so foreigners can run –well, I suspect Osama Bin Laden will not only throw his turban in the ring, he could very well become our next president.

After all, we already know that Bush can’t touch him.

I’ll go no more a Rove-in’
As Kerry supporters line up at the Canadian border, looking for either flu vaccine or citizenship, depending, President Bush’s people have declared that the President now has a mandate.

Despite two squeakers in a row, the Bushies are going ahead with their agenda, including, according to White House adviser Karl Rove, talking on Fox News Sunday, pushing for a constitutional amendment that will declare that marriage, per se, consists only of a union between man and woman.

See, if you’re gay, you just can’t win with these jokers. If you aren’t in a committed relationship, you’re promoting a promiscuous homosexual lifestyle, but if you want to settle down, you’re perverting the concept of marriage.

On Fox News Sunday, Rove also addressed the controversy over the strange bulge in President Bush’s jacket during the first debate, a bulge that many conspiracy-befuddled bloggers believed was some kind of audio receiver. Rove said that the President’s tailor was devastated by the controversy.

“The poor fellow,” Rove told interviewer Chris Wallace,” “he’s an awfully nice fellow, he’s a rather flamboyant dude. I’m not going to use his name, but he’s just – he’s horrified. And you know, it’s – there was nothing there.”

Now, to these ears, calling somebody a “flamboyant dude,” means only one thing. The dude is gay. Rove, of course, is a master of innuendo. What I hear him saying is, there was no audio receiver under the jacket, it was just bad gay tailoring. And even if there was a device, it was a gay guy who put it there.

See? You can’t win. What they’re saying is, “No matter what I do, it’s your fault.”

And if the Bushies fail in their second term mandate, well, mandate sounds suspiciously like something you might find on the homosexual agenda, doesn’t it?

DVD
The cover art for the Duck’s Breath DVD, created by the excellent Tim Barrett, is pretty much finished, but the head shots used there have to be re-done, because they were too lo-rez. Will share when I get a JPEG.

Bill brought over a “first draft” of the DVD. He wants to have more “funny stuff” with each menu, us exhorting the viewer to click a button, for God’s sake, or whatever. We will be meeting this week to discuss the further generation of funny stuff, which of course is what the world needs now.

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