Monday, March 07, 2005

Blog Day Afternoon

Planning a vacation?
March 11-13 are “Frozen Dead Guy Days” in Nederland, Colorado, named for “Grandpa'' Bredo Morstoel, who died in 1989, was frozen by his grandson, and has been stored in a shed ever since. “Frozen Dead Guy Days” were first celebrated in 2002, as part of the town’s efforts to increase tourism.

Justice thwarted?
Martha Stewart is out of the stony lonesome, and back to her old profession of providing goods and services to obsessive/compulsive pathologically neat consumers, the kind of people who color-code their socks, hide their television sets in a closet, and only display books with pictures in them, preferably pictures of Tuscany. The nation, increasingly full of such people, seems grateful.

As a matter of fact, the nation seems increasingly full of two kinds of people, the first being the kind who refer to themselves as “foodies,” unironically, and think AMERICAN BEAUTY was a good movie. It wasn’t, by the way. The other kind are those who say things like “Missed you at the prayer meeting,” and think movies in general are probably a bad idea. These are the reds and blues, my friends, and I for one will have none of it. Oh, there’s the third type, the kind of people who separate America into reds and blues, and think that this classification actually means something.

Before her conviction, of lying to somebody about something or other, Martha Stewart was rumored to be something of a bee-hotch, as the young people say. But now that she has been released, she hasn’t acquired any prison tattoos, but she has apparently acquired a kinder, gentler personality.

This has a certain type of person worried. Okay, there’s a fourth type. The type of person who doesn’t have enough things to worry about. Nino Marino, a defense lawyer in Beverly Hills, told the New York Times that Martha’s Stewart’s sentence “… achieved everything the government wanted it not to achieve. From the government's perspective, the objective of incarceration is to punish someone, and I think that Martha Stewart has, ingeniously, instead of being punished turned it to her advantage."

She turned jail time to her advantage, the fiend. The arch-fiend.

David Becker, a former general counsel at the Securities and Exchange Commission, told the Times, “The criminal justice system is not about cleansing one's soul."

So if you’re going to cleanse your soul, you felons out there, don’t do it on the criminal justice system’s dime.

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