Tuesday, February 08, 2005

You Bloggin' To Me?

Taxi Driver II
I am an avid, if ironic fan of gossip, and am all-twitter (laconically) over the news that Martin Scorsese and Robert DeNiro may team up to do a sequel to TAXI DRIVER. The first one ended, as I recall, with poor Travis Bickle running amok in the hope that he would commit “suicide by lowlife pimp,” and save an innocent life in the process. Instead, he became a hero, though (it’s implied) he is still dangerously crazy with a growing black hole where his social skills ought to be.
So what will become of him in the sequel? I think perhaps he should run for office, nothing too grand, perhaps a city supervisor or councilman, some position where a lack of social graces is considered an electable quality.

I don’t know what the plot would be – something to do with “No Child Left Behind,” perhaps, in which Councilman Bickle is asked to intercede for a child (Dakota Fanning) who’s slowly being driven insane with stress and boredom, from the constant cramming for pointless tests. Bickle falls in love with the mother (Mary-Kate Olsen), and decides to take out the Secretary of Education (Jeff Bridges).

At the last minute he gets cold feet, and instead enlists the aid of a homeless coalition (Steve Buscemi, Harvey Keitel, David Carradine, Samuel L. Jackson, and Christopher Walken) who put together an alternative to public education, broker peace in Iraq, and the rest of the mid-East, and then beat a pimp (John Leguizamo) to death with baseball bats. The movie ends with them getting awards and applause, kind of like the first STAR WARS.

Unique Americans
Last Friday, promoting his lamebrain social security reform in Omaha, President Bush met Mary Mornin, divorced mother of three (including a “mentally challenged” son).

Ms. Mornin volunteered the information that she was working three jobs, to which President Bush responded: “You work three jobs?”

Ms. Mornin: “Three jobs, yes.”

President Bush: “Uniquely American, isn't it? I mean, that is fantastic that you're doing that.”

It’s so great when American choose to work three jobs, isn’t it?

Our creepy world.
Apple is suing a guy for announcing on his web site the products that he surmised Apple would offer. Those lovable hippies at Apple sure are litigious!

On the other side of the aisle, Microsoft has announced plans to purchase Sybari, which makes anti-virus software. This will probably enable Microsoft to charge its customers more to get rid of the viruses that the flaws in Explorer made possible in the first place.

If we DON’T get viruses, will Microsoft sue us?

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