Sunday, April 09, 2006

illegal immigrants+Judas+cola+ blog

Charles Krauthammer:
“Forget employer sanctions. Build a barrier. It is simply ridiculous to say it cannot be done. If one fence won't do it, then build a second 100 yards behind it. And then build a road for patrols in between. Put cameras. Put sensors. Put out lots of patrols.

“Can't be done? Israel's border fence has been extraordinarily successful in keeping out potential infiltrators who are far more determined than mere immigrants. Nor have very many North Koreans crossed into South Korea in the last 50 years.

“Of course it will be ugly. So are the concrete barriers to keep truck bombs from driving into the White House. But sometimes necessity trumps aesthetics. And don't tell me that this is our Berlin Wall. When you build a wall to keep people in, that's a prison. When you build a wall to keep people out, that's an expression of sovereignty. The fence around your house is a perfectly legitimate expression of your desire to control who comes into your house to eat, sleep and use the facilities. It imprisons no one.”

Forget employer sanctions? Build an ugly wall, maybe two? Creating a demilitarized zone on a border with an ally is an expression of sovereignty? If so, whither Canada? The United States is a house? Illegal immigrants have truck bombs? Did I miss something?

From Mr. Minority, a conservative blog
“If they want a fight, I say let's take it to them! Even though Calif. is a sewer, full of crazy liberals, it is still part of the US, and it is going to stay that way. What these crazy Nazi-Mexicans don't realize is that Americans have kicked their butts several times, and we can do it again (remember Texas, Pedro?). I have had it with these un-American Mexicans that think we owe them something, or we should bow to their culture because the southwest was once part of Mexico. We don't get that same crap from Fwance [sic] or England, so why should we take it from Mexicans. You lost, we won, and if you don't like, go home to Mexico!!”

Illegal immigrants want a fight? They do? I thought they just wanted to bus dishes at golf clubs for sub-minimum wage without being called a Nazi-Mexican. What part of "their" culture are we bowing to, exactly? I like Chevy's as much as the next guy, but I don't consider it to be a particularly subversive presence. And “Nazi-Mexicans?” What the hell is that all about? “Remember Texas, Pedro?” Is Texas that forgettable? "Crap from Fwance?" Huh? Merde.

From a blog called customerservant (Bringing A Little Humanity To Customer Service)
“What I’d like to know is why these people are being cast as unfortunates when they should be labeled as criminals.”

Unless the lawn needs mowing, in which case let us call them Customer Servants.

From a blog called Pa Pundits
“Tonight, nearly five years after the 9/11 terrorist attacks, thousands of illegal aliens will enter the U.S. across our southern border, and we have no idea who they are.”

And yet we will let them change sheets at the finer hotels, pack meat, wash windows, and build houses. Oh, we fools!

Blame Reid.
AP: “President Bush blamed Senate Democratic leader Harry Reid on Saturday for the potentially fatal blow dealt to compromise immigration legislation. The landmark bill, which would offer eventual citizenship to millions of illegal immigrants, fell victim Friday to internal disputes in both parties.”

Well, okay, the Democrats are pandering to the Latino voters, as they see them, and Republicans are afraid of alienating the Latino voters, as they see them. Plus, Republicans are business-friendly, and businesses really like the idea of hiring cheap labor and not paying for insurance and pensions.

So, in my opinion, despite the illegal-bashing and illegal-elevating, Congress will do nothing. There will be no wall, no amnesty, no employer sanctions – and illegal immigrants will continue to arrive here in droves. And we will continue to pay them under the table, only now we’ll sneer at them as they work.

Republicans will probably come off the worse after this – because they’re the ones fomenting the sudden hysteria - but their conservative base will blame Democrats. Oh well. Welcome to America, Pedro. Now forget Texas, and go home. Oh here, take some cash with you. Trim the hedge before you go, will you?

Headless man in topless bar: Drop dead.
From the New York Times: “[N]ews organizations large and small have begun experimenting with tweaking their Web sites for better search engine results. But software bots are not your ordinary readers: They are blazingly fast yet numbingly literal-minded. There are no algorithms for wit, irony, humor or stylish writing. The software is a logical, sequential, left-brain reader, while humans are often right brain.”

So headlines, once a source of liveliness, bad puns, forced humor, hysteria, bad taste, and overeager attention-grabbing, will soon be history, replaced by tags and “search engine optimization.”

Remember “FORD TO CITY: DROP DEAD?” Today that would be replaced by “Ford +New York+Default+Federal Aid.” That would get you 50,000 links to stories that all told you the same thing.

“Headless man in topless bar?” “Waitress+decapitate.”

Don’t tell me that a precious piece of American culture will not soon be lost forever! Google is the antichrist!

Judas Christ!
TIME: "[A] 1,700- year-old papyrus copy of a document called the Gospel of Judas… portrays Judas as a favored disciple and says his role in "sacrificing" Jesus' physical being ("the man that clothes me") elevates him above other Apostles.”

This is great heretical stuff! The early Church dined out on this sort of thing, and killed thousands in the process.

The basic idea is: Jesus’ death is preordained; Judas’ role in it is therefore necessary, and he acted in complicity with Jesus himself to accomplish it.

I am reminded of the short story by Borges, “Three Versions of Judas,” in which a (fictitious) theologian, Runeberg, argues that Judas – far from being the betrayer of Christ - was the actual Christ. If Christ died for our sins, Christ must Himself be a sinner. Otherwise, what’s the point? And what greater sin is there than betraying a great and good man? Jesus only spent a day suffering on the cross. Judas had to live the rest of his life with what he had done. If suffering is what Christianity is all about, whose suffering was greater?

Finally: Good news!
An outfit called Ipifini (ugh! retch!) has created a Programmable Liquid Container that allows a consumer to “program” his or her own soft drink.

This is from “Damn Interesting,” a wonderful blog from a guy named Alan Bellows:

“A Programmable Liquid Container looks much like an ordinary drink bottle, but it is filled with a simple ‘cola base,’ and the circumference of its upper half is decorated with six colorful additive compartments. Each compartment might contain one of any number of possible substances, such as flavor syrups, vitamins, herbal supplements, caffeine, fragrances, etc… it is limited only by the cola distributors' imaginations. The consumer can then press one or more of the buttons to create the desired combination of flavors and features.”

See, we have a lot more leisure time than we used to, because illegal immigrants have taken all our jobs, so now we can turn something as mindless as drinking a soda into, well, work.

Sooner or later, however, we will have illegal immigrants program our sodas for us. Or outsource the job to India. I love this country! Every day, in every way, I just get more and more proud.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Krauthammer's got it backwards, and he really should know better. You have to eliminate the jobs for illegal immigrants, first, or people WILL somehow find a way to get here, no matter how many fences you build. This is simple market theory, really -- if there's a demand, it will be filled. A right-wing commentator should know this, since they worship markets.

How would people get here, if we fortified the border? Well, just last week 15 Chinese immigrants arrived in at the Port of Seattle inside a 40 foot shipping container. People are endlessly ingenious when it comes to trying to better their lives. They will find a way.

The Republicans are going to regret picking this fight, because there are no easy answers. The only way we'll ever really stop people from sneaking into the U.S. from Mexico to take jobs here is by improving the Mexican job market. That's neither quick nor easy.

5:31 PM  
Anonymous Abducted! said...

Well, you know--- there WAS only one way that Aaarnold got elected...!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOtTcP4YTTs

9:12 PM  

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