Sunday, March 26, 2006

No animals were harmed in the making of this blog.

Britney!
A life-sized statue of Britney Spears giving birth on a bearskin rug has been unveiled at a gallery in Brooklyn. It is called "Monument to Pro-Life: The Birth of Sean Preston." A photograph of the sculpture can be found at the gallery’s web site: http://caplakesting.com/.

On the gallery’s press release, the sculptor, Daniel Edwards says, “Britney provides inspiration for those struggling with the ‘right choice.’ She was number one with Google last year, with good reason -- people are inspired by the beauty of a pregnant woman.”

Also from the press release: "’Monument to Pro-Life: The Birth of Sean Preston,’" believed Pro-Life's first monument to the 'act of giving birth,' is purportedly an idealized depiction of Britney in delivery. Natural aspects of Spears' pregnancy, like lactiferous [huh?] breasts and protruding naval [sic], compliment [sic] a posterior view that depicts widened hips for birthing and reveals the crowning of baby Sean's head.”

One can’t be sure any more, of course, but I believe the Pro-Life art-loving Britney fans out there have just been pranked.

Immigration!
Huge pro-immigration crowds gathered over the weekend to protest proposed U.S. policies – which include making illegal immigration a felony, and building a wall on the border.

I must confess I don’t quite understand the anti-illegal immigrant fervor. If you don’t want illegal immigrants, it seems to me the solution is simple: DON’T HIRE THEM!

Why blame them? They’re hardworking people risking their lives to try to earn a buck. We should make life easier for them, not harder. Or: DON’T HIRE THEM!

News from Other Lands
From Reuters:

Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, fighting for re-election against a centre-left coalition which includes the hard left, said on Sunday that communists had a history of boiling babies.

"I have been accused many times of saying communists eat babies," he told a rally of his Forza Italia (Go Italy!) party.


"Go and read the black book on communism and you'll find that under Mao's China they didn't eat babies but they boiled them to fertilise the fields.”

And disturbing news from home.
According to the New York Post, last Thursday, former Reagan-era Pentagon official Kathleen McFarland told a crowd of Republicans, "Hillary Clinton is really worried about me, and is so worried, in fact, that she had helicopters flying over my house in Southampton today taking pictures."

A spokesman told the Post that she was just kidding around: "It was a joke, and people laughed."

“But,” says the Post, “three witnesses who were present said nobody in the audience cracked a smile.”

In a statement released on Saturday, Mr. McFarland said, "This is a perfect example of what is happening in American politics. One misinterpreted joke, and your opponents are smearing you in the press. I continue to believe that we can be better than that. But I've got to tell you, it's not easy."

So she made an unfunny joke about Hillary Clinton, and somehow that becomes Hillary Clinton’s fault? I love politics!

Chain chain chain...
Referring to Democrats during a speech in Orlando, Vice President Cheney said, "If they are competent to fight this war, then I ought to be singing on American Idol."

I would LOVE to see that. He could do a cover of Brenda Lee’s “I’m Sorry,” maybe, “Happiness is a Warm Gun,” or “Bird Dog.”

Texas: What Happened?
This is SO San Francisco, isn’t it? Well, not. According to Reuters, “Texas has begun sending undercover agents into bars to arrest drinkers for being drunk, a spokeswoman for the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission said on Wednesday.”

Wasn’t Texas the state where you could drive eighty miles an hour, backward, with an open bottle in your lap, steering with one hand, and blasting a handgun at stop signs with your other? I am disillusioned. Next thing you know they’ll outlaw smoking in steak houses.

Conceive of a being than which no greater can be conceived….
Dr. Francis Collins, the director of the National Human Genome Research Institute at the National Institutes of Health, told the online magazine TCSDaily, "From a purely logical perspective, it will never be possible to disprove the existence of God, since the tools of science apply only to the natural world. Thus of all the possible worldviews, atheism is the most irrational choice."

Um, okay….

Take God out of the statement, and substitute “an invisible flying magic hippo.” Then for atheism, substitute “not believing that an invisible flying magic hippo exists.”

Just a sec, there's somebody at the door....
"Are you there, Merle? It's me, God."

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Another disturbing thing in American politics is the way that Ms. McFarland apparently had a sex-change operation between Thursday and Saturday last.
(Of course, it could be a typo, but that needn't stop one from being entertained by the alternative interpretation!)

-D.E.

6:28 PM  
Blogger Merle Kessler said...

Oops. That indeed was a typo. McFarland is still a Ms. Unless Hillary did something we don't yet know about.
mk

8:18 PM  
Blogger Merle Kessler said...

I always find it amusing, re Karl Rove and Hillary, when Republicans take it upon themselves - in all good faith - to give advice to Democrats.

8:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The anti-immigrant stuff makes a lot more sense when you consider that the immigrants don't contribute to political campaigns, but the corporations that hire them do.

5:21 PM  

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