Wednesday, October 12, 2005

The Official Blog of America!

Slogans for a new America!
America: The land of mixed messages!
America: The Great Satan, yes, but so much more.
America: United in fear.
America: Love puppies, don’t eat them.
America: Evolution’s for suckers.
America: Hey, little buddy, have an iPod.
America: Don’t you want a big car?
America: Got guns?
America: We like porn!
America: Coming soon to a landing field near you.
America: What’s YOUR problem?
America: Have a nice day or I’ll kill you.
America: I’m so drunk right now.
America: Raising awareness about America.
America: Home of anger, resentment, and TiVo.
America: Yippie, wahoo, we’re doomed!
America: We have air conditioning!
America: Not totally broke yet, so watch out!

What’s sex with a Real Doll like? From Salon: “According to Davecat and many other Real Doll owners, sex with a Real Doll is quite good. ‘For the most part, it's just like sex with an organic woman ... who doesn't say anything and is brimful of Quaaludes,’ Davecat writes on Sidore's stylish Web site.”

Speaking of sex….
Know about Suicide Girls? It’s kind of a porn site with street cred (whatever the hell that means), featuring goth-y women who give the appearance of being empowered to… be something or other. It’s been written up in Rolling Stone, and the giveaway weeklies. Well, that little porn paradise is falling apart.

After various disagreements with management (a man, of course- so much for “empowerment”), Claudia, Sita, Molly, Gillian, Ciel, Annabelle, Angie, Shera, Annie, Genivieve, Mistidawn, Les, among others have quit. Many of them are blogging about it! Naked!

None of them seek careers as Real Dolls, however.

Kinder, gentler government in the wake of Katrina
According to the NYT:
“Conservatives have already used the storm for causes of their own, like suspending requirements that federal contractors have affirmative action plans and pay locally prevailing wages. And with federal costs for rebuilding the Gulf Coast estimated at up to $200 billion, Congressional Republican leaders are pushing for spending cuts, with programs like Medicaid and food stamps especially vulnerable.”

Oh, the hell with it. Let’s just turn New Orleans into a theme park and a string of swampy golf courses. The poor could have waded out of there if they’d had any gumption! And you know what caused Katrina, don’t you? No, not global warming. Single Moms. Black single Moms.

Pat Robertson
He was on CNN Late Edition last weekend claiming that recent disasters could just well be signs of the End Times. He said, “And before that good time comes, there will be some difficult days and they will be likened to what a woman goes through in labor just before she brings forth a child. And for anybody who knows what it’s like to have a wife going into labor, you know how these labor pains begin to hit. Could this be it? It might be.” So watch for single black mothers going into labor in unison. This could be it!

(But if it is, why was he so eager to have Hugo Chavez whacked? He’s going into the Lake of Fire in a month or so anyway. A year, tops.)

In other news....
I have a few days work as an extra in the new Will Smith movie, THE PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS (yes, spelled with a "Y"). If I'm not too wiped out, will tell you all about it.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tell us about "Happyness"

10:59 AM  
Anonymous Wayne said...

Hey Merle,

I was one of those Asian extras at the Chinatown shoot yesterday. Sorry I didn't say anything; I just couldn't believe it was really you (doing extra work). Later I heard your name called out for the next day's work, and then you were gone. Oh well. Have fun, if possible.

11:01 AM  

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