Sunday, August 28, 2005

The Petulant Man March

I know a great many people liked this movie, and it lifted the sales of Pinor Noir around the nation, but the Child Bride and I gave up on it about halfway through. It seemed to be little more than a series of unfunny scenes depicting a petulant man and his friend drinking wine and eating. What, no zombies?

We liked this movie quite a bit however – even though it was another movie about a petulant man and his (so-called) friends eating. I especially enjoyed the scene in which Hitler dispensed poison capsules to those of his staff who desired them – like a kindly uncle offering his personal headache remedy to a suffering niece. What a nice guy!

Meanwhile, outside the bunker, acting out of fierce loyalty to Der Fuhrer, and with every encouragement from him, eight-year-old Berliners were manning machine guns to face the relentless Russians. And back in the bunker, rats were either jumping off the sinking ship, or committing suicide the way toddlers take naps.

Double Feature I’ll Avoid.
That penguin movie, and the movie about the delusional hippie who got eaten by a bear.

Narration by Morgan Freeman.
Can we declare a moratorium on that now?

Google Google
A writer for CNET New decided to see how much she could find out about Eric E. Schmidt, the chairman and chief executive of Google, by Googling him. When her article appeared, however, Google’s director of public relations complained about the disclosures, and then told CNET that the company would not speak to its reporters for a year.

On the face of it, this seems high-handed and weird. Why should Google get upset if an article shows how well its search engine works?

My theory: it’s a well-intentioned warning to the curious. Googling Google could theoretically set up an infinite information loop – like placing two mirrors facing each other, only much more dangerous – in which Google searches Google, Google searches the Google searching Google, etc. until the Internet folds in on itself. Then the entire universe will be sucked in, and implode, ending the cosmos, as we know it.

So if you’re going to Google Google – use Yahoo.

Another Latter Days indicator....
From the New York Times:

“When Stephen was reunited with his sometime girlfriend LC on this summer's season premiere of the MTV reality series ‘Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County,’ his choice of soundtrack music was inspired: ‘Don't Stop Believin' ‘ by the 80's power ballad specialists Journey, a firm song about uncertain love. ‘Generally, in reality TV, you like to control what music is being played,’ said the show's music supervisor, Jon Ernst, ‘but that was Stephen's own CD. It wasn't staged at all - he's a Journey fan.’

“… The day after the premiere, ‘Don't Stop Believin'’ made its debut on the iTunes sales chart in the top 5, and it hovered in the top 10 for two weeks. Retail sales of the band's two greatest-hits collections jumped 40 percent in the week following the show's debut, according to Nielsen SoundScan.

“’A whole other generation is coming up to me now - anywhere from 8 to 22 years old - wanting me to sign autographs,’ said Steve Perry, Journey's former lead singer. ‘They think Journey was awesome.’”

Poll results!
The three top insults to males, from a new survey conducted by the Chicago ad agency, Leo Burnett:

"He'll never amount to anything."
"Everyone laughs behind your back."
"You're stupid."

The poll also revealed the three things males want out of life:

1. End world hunger.
2. Be a world famous sports star.
3. Marry a supermodel.

Which is why women think we’re stupid, and will never amount to anything, and laugh behind our backs.

Unless, of course, you are a world famous sports star who married a supermodel and ended world hunger. Then you get number 4 on the list of things males want out of life – oral sex. Which isn’t really fair, but that’s life.

Me, I just want to make it to the living room without forgetting what I went there to get.

China Syndrome II
This is from Gamespot:

“In China …, the government agency that oversees the online game industry said that testing of a system to regulate the number of hours gamers spend online will be ready for deployment this October.

“The system will impose penalties on players who spend more than three hours gaming online. The system is slated to be fully operational in late 2006 or early 2006 and will be compulsory for all massively multiplayer online role-playing and online casual games.

"’This timing mechanism can prevent young people from becoming addicted to online games,’ Xiaowei Kou, the deputy director of the general administration of press and publication (GAPP), said during a press conference in Beijing.

“…[T]he system reduces the ability level of a player's online game character if the game is played beyond the three-hour limit. Basically, play more than three hours and the system cuts a game character's ability by half. Play more than five hours and the system reduces a game character's ability to the lowest level possible.”

This crackdown is hitting the real world as well. If you play chess for more than three hours, a government representative will remove two pawns from your board; after five hours, he will take your queen. And in Chinese Checkers, the marbles will be replaced by square pegs.


Blogger BonzoGal said...

Google Google... After you use the word Google a few times, it starts to lose meaning... oh wait, it didn't have meaning to begin with...

My husband and I tried to watch "Sideways" the night before leaving for a vacation, and had to stop it halfway through because it was bumming our high(s). Besides, embarrassing drunken phone calls to exes: too close to home.

4:39 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home