Monday, August 01, 2005

Vulgar Blog

“Some of you know about the San Francisco Women’s Motorcycle Contingent Dykes on Bikes’ efforts to trademark DYKES ON BIKES to keep it from being used commercially or for personal gain. The US Patent & Trademark Office turned us down in May for the third time-this time calling the word ‘dyke’ vulgar. To us, ‘dyke’ is who we are and not something vulgar. We recognize that ‘dyke’ can be used negatively, but we have taken the word and made it a symbol of power and pride as part of Dykes on Bikes, which is the phrase that we are trying to trademark. I am sure all of you will agree, that when the Dykes on Bikes kick off the annual Pride Parade here in San Francisco and in other pride celebrations across the country, we are a symbol of power and pride. We are appealing the USPTO’s decision and will continue to fight to register the trademark.”

Come on, USPTO, get with the program. America wants DYKES ON BIKES tm action figures! Happy Meal toys!

More vulgarity!
Lauren Bacall to TIME Magazine: "When you talk about a great actor, you're not talking about Tom Cruise. His whole behavior is so shocking. It's inappropriate and vulgar and absolutely unacceptable to use your private life to sell anything commercially, but I think it's kind of a sickness."

The search is on!
Remember THE OMEN, in which rich people died horribly in a series of freak accidents, because the son of Satan felt like killing them for some reason? They’re going to do a remake!

The director, John Moore, says, "The casting process for a new Damien will be under way soon. The role is wide open to all young mothers who want their sons as the sons of Satan."

And what young soccer Mom wouldn’t want that for her child? Release date is scheduled for June 6, 2006. Get it?

Sean Connery grumps.
From the Daily Mail: “I'm fed up with the idiots . . . the ever-widening gap between people who know how to make movies and the people who green-light the movies. 'I don't say they're all idiots. I'm just saying there's a lot of them that are very good at it. It would almost need a Mafia-like offer I couldn't refuse to do another movie.”

If you’re looking for idiots, however, here’s the place to go.
From the Dallas Morning News: “The Ector County Independent School District unanimously approved an elective course in biblical literacy last week, an action underscoring the marked increase of such ‘Bible study’ classes nationally.” (Scare quotes! Don’t you love them?)

Asked what he thought about this, a junior at the Odessa high school told the paper, "It's OK, I guess. But there's already a lot we have to get done for graduation; there's not much room for electives. It's like we'd have to choose between football, more science or the Bible."

And poetry classes, of course.

By by Secular Humanism, see ya!
The New York Times, in an article by the much-derided-by-conservatives Ralph Blumenthal and Texan Barbara Novovitch, reported that the Texas Freedom Network, which disapproves of the curriculum, reported in its study that in one teaching unit, students are informed: "Throughout most of the last 2,000 years, the majority of men living in the Western world have accepted the statements of the Scriptures as genuine."

Further… “Mark A. Chancey, professor of religious studies at Southern Methodist University in Dallas, who spent seven weeks studying the syllabus for the freedom network… said he found it ‘riddled with errors of facts, dates, definitions and incorrect spellings. It cites supposed NASA findings to suggest that the earth stopped twice in its orbit, in support of the literal truth of the biblical text that the sun stood still in Joshua and II Kings.”

The sun stood still, the dish ran away with the spoon, Lauren and Sean fell in love with Malibu, and the Dykes on Bikes roared into the sunset, with their trademarks intact, and the flowing tears of a grateful nation. See you at the Rapture!


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