Thursday, March 10, 2005

Ikea Ukea we all kea for Ikea

Talk it like you walk it?
The big CeBIT technology show in Germany unveiled new cell phones that send film clips, store hi-rez photos, and download and stream music. Oh, and you can make and take phone calls, if you’re into that.

One new phone unveiled Animated Instant Voice Messages. It converts text into speech that can synchronize with animated lips, superimposed on your own photograph. Doesn’t that sound useless and creepy?

It’s a kale world after all.
Organic grocery store giant, Whole Foods, is going into the theme park biz, kind of. According to USA Today, last week Whole Foods opened a giant “concept store,” next to their corporate headquarters in Austin, Texas.

The 80,000 square foot space is broken up into small-ish “food-centric” areas, like the “lands” at Disneyland. These include:

--Candy Island, where you can dip fresh strawberries in a chocolate fountain..

--Lamar Street Greens, “where you can sit among the organic produce and have a salad handmade for you to enjoy with a glass of Chardonnay.”

--Fifth Street Seafood, offering “fresh seafood items cooked, sliced, smoked or fried for instant eating.”

--Whole Body, “where a massage therapist will work the kinks out with a 25-minute deep-tissue massage for $50.”

Just give me my processed cheese, and get me of here.

No no, says founder John Mackey: “Whole Foods thinks shopping should be fun. With this store, we're pioneering a new lifestyle that synthesizes health and pleasure.”

Good luck with that. I’ll stick with the crack cocaine and sex, thank you.

King Tut not murdered!
Thank goodness they cleared that one up. I was losing sleep.

Did you know?
The wife, reading an E.F. Benson novel, asked if there was some connection between strawberry leaves and British royalty. It turns out there is. The strawberry leaf is the motif of coronets worn by dukes and duchesses (not the baronies, mind you!). If you are not a duke or duchess, and sport a coronet with this motif, remove it immediately. You are in violation of sumptuary laws!

There’ll always be a Norway. And Sweden.
The Prime Minister of Norway has blasted IKEA for not showing enough women in its advertisements. IKEA carries around 2,000 pieces of furniture, which the customer assembles, and not one of the instructional sheets shows a woman doing the assembly. The IKEA response was that the company did not want to offend Muslim buyers, to which a Muslim responded, "Muslim women can also put furniture together.”

The Norwegian newspaper, Aftenposten, was told by IKEA's Swedish information chief Fredrik Wahrolén that assembly instructions with women did too exist.

“Wahrolén said a woman could be seen putting kitchen shelf ‘Värde’ together, as well as helping build the cabinet ‘Husar.’”

Breaking News!
My big fluffy cat is sitting on a piece of paper! Looking very pleased with herself!


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