Monday, January 03, 2005

The shock jock n hookers blog

What is a deejay?
They aren’t really deejays any more, are they? They don’t spin discs, they just dream up stunts. They’re called shock jocks now, which is kind of odd. They were originally disc jockeys - because they spun platters - which became deejays, and then, when they stopped playing music altogether (Do they play music? I dunno, I don’t listen), they’re called shock jocks. It's like a syllogism missing a premise.

So anyway...
Some deejays dreamed up a stunt called “Breast Christmas Ever,” in which four stations offered 13 women breast enlargement surgeries, in exchange for essays explaining why they wanted larger breasts. A Tampa station claimed to have gotten more than 91,000 entries.

Okay, children are starving in Asia, hundreds of thousands dead, there's a horrible war in Iraq, women are being degraded, yadda yadda....

I don’t want to deal with those discussions, except to tell you that the National Organization for Women called the contest "degrading and unethical,” can you believe it?

And a spokeswoman for Clear Channel, of which the four stations were members, declared, "There is no reason to be concerned because it's not a Clear Channel-sponsored contest. We empower our local manager to make programming decisions.''

"There is no reason to be concerned, because it’s not a Clear Channel-sponsored contest." Whew! If it had been a Clear Channel-sponsored contest, I might have had to slit my wrists. That's how disappointed I would have been.

What really interests me.
How does this story relate to an Associated Press wire story, posted on December 23, “Federal regulators on Wednesday proposed a $220,000 indecency fine against the owner of two Kansas radio stations for broadcasting a 'Naked Twister'' game with local strippers and graphic interviews with porn stars.” Hm?

What is the sinister connection between drive time deejays and strippers/hookers? For centuries (it seems), morning radio guys have been cajoling strippers into taking off their clothes, hookers into taking i.q. tests, and generally indulging in all sorts of pranks that are of enormous fascination to frat boys, a source of irritation for another 80 per cent of the country, and an indication that the end of the world is near to the rest.

I’m in the irritated 80 per cent by the way (full disclosure), but I am interested to know – where do the shock jocks meet the strippers and hookers? I mean, the radio shows go on at five, six in the morning. They can’t go out clubbing at night, or cruising the strip. They need their sleep if they’re going to be fresh little rude boys at the crack of dawn.

And the hookers and strippers? What is the enticement for them to get up in the morning after a hard night of hooking and stripping, just to make fools of themselves with creepy little giggly pasty no longer quite young men in tee-shirts who stopped listening to music when Def Leppard retired?

What do the hookers and strippers get out of it?

It’s a mysterious symbiosis to be sure, one that ensures ratings for the shock jocks, not to mention citations from the FCC, and, I suppose, a certain kind of fame for the hookers and strippers, who probably don’t mind a game of Naked Twister at eight in the morning, if they’re paid for it, and it doesn’t involve the exchange of body fluids.

Whither America?
But what does America get out of it? More entertainment I guess. Lord knows we have a damn dearth of entertainment in this country. Not to mention a severe shortage of large-breasted women.

So bless you, Clear Channel, for empowering your local managers, and providing a much-needed shot in the arm to the troubled cosmetic surgery industry. I salute you! This blog salutes you!


Anonymous Wendy said...

I personally wish that more dj 's would have sex workers on the show but not to exploit them but to educate the public and show sex workers in a positive light.

7:19 PM  

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