Monday, December 20, 2004

Blog n Nog

Rummy rumblings
It seems that Donald Rumsfeld has been using a signature stamp to sign letters of condolence to the families of those killed in action.

In a statement, Rumsfeld stated that he "wrote and approved the now more than 1,000 letters sent to family members and next of kin of each of the servicemen and women killed in military action….While I have not individually signed each one, in the interest of ensuring expeditious contact with grieving family members, I have directed that in the future I sign each letter."

He not only wrote, he approved the letters, and he has directed that in future he sign them personally. I can only hope that he personally approved the direction that he has given himself.

And if you’re on a plane…?
Reuters: “Radio waves from mobile phones harm body cells and damage DNA in laboratory conditions, according to a new study majority-funded by the European Union, researchers said on Monday.”

But who talks on cell phone in laboratory conditions?

Bumper comes a cropper

“Country singer Chely Wright said yesterday she was dismissing the head of her fan club and shutting down a team of volunteers after The Tennessean learned that some of them posed as members of the military or their families to promote her latest song.”

Members of her fan club were apparently instructed (by… somebody) to call radio stations, posing as soldiers or relatives thereof, urging them to play her single, “The Bumper of my SUV.”

The song was written by Wright, and tells the story of how she was driving her SUV in Nashville, when someone saw her bumper sticker supporting the troops, and gave her the finger. The song asks us to support the troops no matter what we think of the war itself.

Whether it asks us to support fake troops as well, I do not know.

Merry Christmas anyway, darling.
“This is the first published case of a possible 'Christmas tree aspiration' of which we are aware," says Dr. Natalie Yanchar, a pediatric general surgeon at the IWK Health Centre in Halifax, Nova Scotia.

The case involves a toddler, age 2 1/2, who was puzzling physicians with ongoing pneumonia. He was referred to their department last season having "a history of recurrent right lower lobe pneumonia from the age of 10 months, beginning a few months after his first Christmas," according to the report.

After further tests, the child underwent surgery, and doctors found a "foreign body" looking conspicuously like a small sprig of an evergreen tree. It measured three centimeters long, and a half-centimeter around.

Long story short: the physicians removed the spring and the boy is fine. So: remember not to breathe as you open your presents.

Happy holidays!

John Leo, weighing in as he is wont to do:

“The purge of Christmas is … in full bloom at Bloomingdale’s…. A minuscule Christmas section is tucked away on the fifth floor. ‘Any Christmas music?’ I asked a clerk, as a sad Billie Holiday song filled the air…. ‘Oh, it goes in cycles,’ the clerk said…. Sure enough, a few minutes later, right after ‘Let It Snow,’ ‘The Christmas Song’ came on, or as it is generally known, ‘Religion-Free Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Secular Fire.’ I heard no carols though, and saw no ‘Merry Christmas’ banners.”

Let me get this straight. This guy is complaining about a LACK of Christmas music? I’m as anti-PC as the next lug, but why would you WANT more Christmas music? Isn’t it already embedded in our very genes?

And since when is “The Christmas Song” an indictment of Christmas carols?

Oh shut up, all of you, just shut up.

I mean “Merry Christmas!”
We have wrapped up the Christmas mailing of the Duck’s Breath DVD, and are moving on to the next phase, TBD. You know, merry and bright days, white Christmases, roasting chestnuts, and good King Wenceslas, whoever the hell he was.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have just received my copy of the 30 year anniversary DVD of Ducks Breath Mystery Theatre. It is even better than I had hoped for. The sketches are very funny and they also include some vintage video (movies?) of the gang from many years ago. Watch in awe as Bill Allard grows both old and BIG, RIGHT BEFOE YOUR VERY EYES! And if you don't believe me, well, I'm just going to have to ask Mr. Nifty to pay you a little visit! (I think he likes cookies!)

Seriously, BUY THIS DVD!

6:29 PM  

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