Thursday, September 02, 2004

Hello God. It’s Me, Merle

New Look
In response to an anonymous complaint – well, here it is, in its entirety: ”Can't read your blog. Light blue letters on black background; worst possible combination. Please redo.” – in response to that rather curt missive (Reading it I thought, “What are you, my Dad? My editor? Are you paying me?”), I have reverted to black on white. I was thinking for a while of doing orange on black, or pink on blue, or make the blog look like one of those Goth web sites from ten years ago, in which all the letters are in flames, and unreadable. But I suppose readability is a thing to be desired, blog-wise.

I’ve been getting some e-mail from folks I haven’t heard from in a while. (You like that “folks” touch? Boy, I sure do. It’s a Paul Harvey thing.)

This is from a fellow I’ll call “Paul,” for that is his name. He relocated to NYC from Minneapolis, and recently moved back. He writes: “while in new york, i wrote a sort-of blog-slash-irregular-column entitled 'how drunk are people in new york’. here is one of my favorite lines from that blog: ‘tile. i counted three times, once through the hands.’"

Here at DBMT blogspot, we can only hope that Paul - for that is his name - has learned that tile only needs to be counted once, really. Write the number down! And then forget about it.

He has offered to fill in for me on this blog, if I’m sick or something. I don’t know why. There’s certainly no money in it. No tile either.

I got another e-mail, from “Oliver,” whose grandfather was Huntz Hall from the Bowery Boys. Isn’t that cool? My grandfather was cool as well, but he never played a juvenile delinquent in the movies while well into his middle age.

Oliver asks, “Can you recommend an analgesic for Weltschmerz, other than booze?”

Well, no. It’s Dick Cheney’s world. We just live in it. Such as we can.

Bush at GOP Convention
His speech is broadcasting as I type. What a goon. Saying that, is it Bush-hating? Or Bush-bashing? What are the penalties, exactly, for these activities?

He sez, “Free governments in the Middle East will fight terrorists instead of harboring them.”

So why did his crowd do everything in its power to dismantle the Iraqi government (such as it was), sending the soldiers home, and shutting down state-owned factories, thus driving disgruntled and unemployed young people into the arms of the “insurgents.” The private sector is supposed to rush into the vacuum of power here, and set up McDonaldses, Targets, and CostCos in the most free market that ever ever was.

The trouble is, corporations are reluctant to set up shop in an area where their CEOs are likely to get blowed up. So the vacuum remains.

Swift Boat
A local (San Francisco) comic is doing a parody of the Swift Boat ads, focusing on President Bush’s war years. Bill Allard and I will portray President Bush’s comrades in combat, for no money, but for a good cause – mocking President Bush. Will keep you informed.

What would Raymond Chandler do?

Vacuous Idiot
If he could just not pronounce “terrorism” as “tearism,” I might cut him a little more slack.

Now he’s comparing the situation in Iraq with Germany after WWII. I may remind the President that Hitler was dead at the conclusion of WWII. Mr. Bin Laden is still at large. Though perhaps we will be surprised in October.

And freedom is a “gift” from “Almighty God.” Other gifts include mortality, illness, and self-doubt. Order now! They’re free!

Bush’s Brain
The President’s nicknames for Karl Rove are “Boy Genius” and “Turd Blossom.”

Liberty Century
“We have a calling from beyond the stars to stand for freedom.”

Well, I have a calling from my butt to… oh never mind.


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