Sunday, April 23, 2006

The Gospel of Blog

In the aptly-located Mystic, Connecticut, paranormal researchers are wondering if an historic whaling ship might be “home to the ghost of a long-ago seafarer.”

I’ll go out on a limb here, and guess “No.”

News from Sweden
Swedish linguists have added “W” to the Swedish alphabet.

Swedish authorities rescued a man who had been floating on a raft made of oil barrels and planks in the waters between Denmark and Norway. The man called himself George Williams and claimed to be a “stateless American,” though born in South Africa. He had no identification. He told police he had been thrown from a ship. (If so, how did he get the raft?).

A police spokesman told a Swedish newspaper, “He says he has lived for a long time in the USA, but does not want to say where. He has worked in Europe, but does not want to say where and with what. He is not seeking asylum in Sweden but wants to go to New York."

Maybe he’s a raftmaker.

Liberals are the worst evil that ever ever was, part one.
On The American Digest, a blogger opined: “[T]imed carefully to cash in on the Easter holiday, the ‘serious’ editors of National Geographic chose to release their gleanings from a sheaf of rags and call them THE GOSPEL OF JUDAS. Having risen through the echo chamber of ‘higher’ education and survived the ruthless but quiet vetting process of their ‘profession,’ these editors knew full well that what they were putting out into the world was not a ‘gospel.’ They also knew that calling it a ‘gospel’ would ensure greater attention and greater sales. Beyond that, the editors, secular cultists all, also got a quiet little tingle by having, in their minds, ‘stuck it’ to the Christian church once again.

I thought “gospel” meant “good news.” Wouldn’t THE GOSPEL OF JUDAS be good news to all those Gnostics out there (you know who you are)? I like the sprinkling of scare quotes here, however, and the new information: I had not known that the National Geographic staff was a secular cult plotting to bring down Christianity.

Hey, that’s what the blogosphere is all about!

Inspired by the above, The Anchoress, on her blog, made this argument: “Mere betrayal can be misguided, as I believe Judas was misguided, thus lacking in malevolence. Our age has moved beyond betrayal to embrace a malevolent mendacity that is oddly, gleefully shameless in its ascendancy, and which some are only too quick to clutch to their breasts.”

By “our age,” by the way, she means liberals. She continues: “The Cult [i.e. liberals] is execrable - it sleeps in its own feces and calls it a bed of fragrant moss and clover - and too many have become too willing to believe that the squish and stench in which they slog is a pristine pasture rather than an overflowing latrine.”

Man, that’s some writing! Are we slogging and sleeping at the same time? Or do we do each in shifts? How do you slog in a latrine anyway? Which is it we believe our feces is, the rose bed or pristine pasture?

And what sent her off on this metaphorical roundelay anyway? I followed some of her links, and what got her going, apparently, was the Michelle Malkin/UC Santa Cruz thing.

The Michelle Malkin/UC Santa Cruz Thing, or Liberals are the worst evil that ever ever was, part two.
A student organization in Santa Cruz, called Students Against War, recently protested the presence of military recruiters at a job fair on campus. Fearing for their safety, police escorted the recruiters off-campus. (I’m puzzled why police, administrators, and military recruiters would quail in the face of hippies, but there you go.)

Anyway, those protestors got Ms. Malkin’s knickers in a twist. She posted some photographs of their activities, which included holding up a sign that said, “Fuck the Army.” Another banner was a picture of a banana slug (The UCSC mascot), giving the viewer the finger, with the caption, “Military Welcome to USSC.”

I guess Ms. Malkin is too young to remember the Viet Nam War, when the phrase, “Stop the War Machine” was as common as “Fries with that?” She called the students’ protest “sedition,” and having obtained the organizers’ contact information from their press release, posted it on her blog. (Instead of having a central number, the idiots apparently gave out their personal phone numbers.)

This led to death threats to them, on the phone, at their homes, and on their e-mail. (Sample: “Fucking pansy douchebag, you're lucky one of those recruiters didn't put his foot up your silly little ass. Get cancer, you traitorous shit breath cocksucker.”)

Well, this led to somebody on the “seditious” side posting Michell Malkin’s contact information, and some thrilling messages in her in-box as well. (Sample: “You belong in prison. You are a disgusting waste of oxygen. You WILL burn in hell you disgusting cunt.”)

Talk about your rarefied political discourse! It’s positively Olympian! Though what all this has to do with Judas - or anything - is definitely a head-scratcher.

Beat that, Judas!
The New York Times has revealed that Madeleine Albright can leg-press 400 lbs.


Blogger Elayne said...

I think the Judas thing and the Malkin thing coming up at the same time isn't a coincidence either, given the title of Malkin's latest crazyscreed...

10:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

She seems to be using multiple levels of metaphor, too: both "execrable" and "sleeps in its own feces". So I'm wondering if, perhaps, at least some of it is meant to be taken literally!

It's about this stage of a metaphor war when it might be safer just to declare a truce and resort to SIMILES for the duration.


2:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Does the Swedes accept the W coz of this George Williams? Those Wikings are just too nice :) I wanna go to the Euros on a raft!

4:51 AM  

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