Monday, April 11, 2005

April 11

All the news….
Associated Press Headline: “Giant Thermometer Puts Calif. Town on Map”

But where did the Calif. Town put the thermometer?

The Sunset District Represents!
From the Police Blotter, Sunset Beacon:

Two officers on duty witnessed a black truck accelerate so much that its wheels were “peeling out” very loudly for 6-8 seconds…. The officers followed the truck and pulled over the 28-year-old suspect, (who) said, “Well, I’m only 28. I got this new truck and I wanted to peel out. I should have known I was gonna get caught.”

Miss America.
From the New York Times:
“Organizers of the pageant are considering a number of plans to resuscitate the 85-year-old contest and bring it back to television this September. The mildest plans include tweaking the broadcast program slightly by eliminating the talent portion, which the ABC network had complained about before dropping the show in the aftermath of last year's disappointing ratings.”

Eliminate the talent portion? No wonder America’s going to hell in a handcart.

Three funerals and a wedding.
From Salon.com, miracles attributed to John Paul II:

“An American Jew cured of a brain tumor after attending Mass with Pope John Paul II. A Mexican boy stricken with leukemia who recovered after a papal kiss. Even a cardinal who regained his ability to speak after John Paul touched his throat.”

Entertainment news
I don’t go out to movies much any more (too expensive). But Bill Allard’s son works at a theatre in San Francisco, and got us all (Bill, me, and wives) into SIN CITY for free. He even gave us popcorn!

This movie seems to have gotten quite a negative backlash from those who don’t like these kinds of movies. As for me, any movie that contains cannibalism, decapitations, two swirlies, and hookers with automatic weapons (not to mention samurai swords) is aces in my book.

A tip: if you decide to go, don’t take the kids.

Ann Coulter, my favorite loon
“It's been a tough year for the secularist crowd. There was Mel Gibson's 'The Passion of the Christ,' the moral values election, the Christian hostage subduing her kidnapper by reading from 'The Purpose Driven Life,' and the Christian effort to save Terri Schiavo. Not only that, but earlier this year, James Dobson insulted the Democrats' mascot, SpongeBob SquarePants, with impunity.”

Say, whatever happened to that guy in Wisconsin who shot up the worship service, supposedly because he disliked the sermon of the previous week?

Michelle Malkin, my other favorite loon
“Jane Fonda just won't shut up. And her crocodile tears will not stop flowing. She has contracted an acute case of Aging Celebrity Hippie Syndrome -- and it's going to land her tell-all memoir on The New York Times best-seller list in no time. There she is on ‘60 Minutes,’ simpering about her failed relationship with her stoic father.”

Oddly enough, I agree with her.

I’ve never really liked Jane Fonda’s work (though I jumped out of my chair with unholy glee when Bruce Dern screamed “Slope cunt!” at her in the awful COMING HOME).

Still, Jane Fonda was present at a remarkable number of bizarre cultural moments. I’d be more interested in a story of her life than, say, Michelle Malkin’s. Randy Newman said she’s worthy of an opera. She has certainly had a Life. Lighten up, Michelle! Ms. Fonda’s autobiography will be showing up in Goodwill stores within the year, I predict. Let that be your revenge.

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