Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Another day, another blog

Warning: Poll
From Reuters: “Many Americans are so sleepy that they are having problems in their marriages, making mistakes at work and even going without sex, according to a report released on Tuesday.”

From AP: “Getting a good night's sleep is hard for many adults and that often means poorer health, lower productivity on the job, more danger on the roads and a less vibrant sex life.”

The information comes from a poll given by the National Sleep Foundation.

What are we to extrapolate from the data? What can be done?

Well, personally, I often get sleepy after sex. Yes, sex can be a fun cure for insomnia. If nothing else, sex helps kill the waking hours (or minutes), and it’s more fun than counting sheep. Who counts sheep anyway? That’s pre-9/11 insomnia! Sheep won’t cut it any more.

Also, you can sleep on the job, unless you’re an airline pilot, bus driver, or sniper. I recommend it!

Sell your car. Automobiles are a constant source of anxiety, not to mention road rage. Get rid of it. You’ll sleep better.

Slow News Day in the Fashion World.
From Fashion Forward, Nina Lalli’s column in the Village Voice:

“In this day and age, there are three known varieties of cleavage. The obvious one is boob cleavage, which needs no explanation. Butt cleavage is by far the most risqué, and still a fringe movement, although Hilary Swank pulled off a tastefully suggestive version at the Oscars. And finally, there's toe cleavage, a glimpse at the lines between toes, just where they sprout from the foot. This is seemingly the most modest of cleavages, but it can be quite suggestive. In style back in the '80s (Atomic Passion has tons of vintage low-cut shoes), showing off a few toe buds is again gaining popularity.”

I saw all three types of cleavage once, on a city worker pulling weeds while wearing ill-fitting huaraches. The only thing “suggestive” about the experience was a small (but loud) inner voice telling me to avert my eyes immediately.

I’m not religious, but this is just silly dept.
The Colorado Supreme Court overthrew a death penalty sentence, because jurors in the trial had consulted the Bible. Apparently, that ancient book suggests an “eye for an eye” as an appropriate punishment.

Said the majority (3-to-2 decision): "The judicial system works very hard to emphasize the rarified, solemn and sequestered nature of jury deliberations. Jurors must deliberate in that atmosphere without the aid or distraction of extraneous texts."

Rarefied, solemn, and sequestered? Maybe before or after the camera crews arrive. What could be more solemn than the damn Bible? Not many laughs in that extraneous text. And wouldn’t the jurors, unless they’re from Mars, be familiar with the “eye for an eye” injunction without having to consult the tome?

Are jurors supposed to leave their personal beliefs behind when they make a judgment about whether to kill somebody or not? If so, why don’t we just replace human jurors with computer programs?

I’m against the death penalty, by the way. But still—

Why I’m against the death penalty.
Death cannot be undone, and--
(1) Juries sometimes make mistakes.
(2) Witnesses sometimes lie.
(3) The state should not have a bureaucracy of executioners. That’s creepy. Now if we selected executioners from a pool, the way we do juries….


Anonymous ted lorusso said...

Why I’m against Merle Kessle(Death cannot be undone, but Merle's pants most certainly can and must be undone...ergo):
(1)He has a really big nose.
(2)He picks it way too often.
(3) He sings showtunes whilst picking.

5:34 PM  

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