Thursday, September 06, 2007

Cheese Blog

On Wisconsin!
Just returned from Wisconsin, visiting the in-laws, and celebrating little niece Laurel’s first birthday. She is the first granddaughter on either side of the (alarming large) families, so there were many relatives at the gathering, both doting and non.

Got to spend half a day picking tomatoes, which was great. Got to eat a few along the way. Imagine: tomatoes that actually taste like something!

Came home with a chigger bite, several mosquito bites and a cold. The Wee Bride also had a cold (she transmitted it to me, I believe, the fiend), mosquito bites, and a yellow jacket sting.

All in all, a fine few days off!

Larry Craig
Being semi-out of the loop newswise, I missed the first flare of media hysteria over Larry Craig’s alleged indiscretion. I have since caught up on the pundits’ second thoughts, that perhaps Senator Craig’s peers were a bit over-eager in asking him to resign, and that perhaps there’s an element of homophobia in the coverage of him, as well. I dunno. Call me narrow-minded, but I don’t think elected officials should be trolling for sex in public rest rooms, or even making ambiguous gestures in public rest rooms. I want my elected officials to march into a public rest room with dignity, do his or her business, wash his or her hands, check hair briefly in the mirror, and leave. Anything less, or more, is grounds for impeachment.

Ann Coulter weighs in.
“If the charges against Craig are true -- and that is certainly in doubt -- he's a sinner (and barely that, according to The Idaho Statesman), but he is among the least hypocritical people in America.”

And who among us does not look to the Idaho Statesman for occasions of sin?

China denied that it was behind an attempted hack of the Pentagon’s computer network. So: that settles that!

Web news
AP: “The Justice Department on Thursday said Internet service providers should be allowed to charge a fee for priority Web traffic.”

Gladly we’ll pay for the fine services that the Internet provides!

New study reveals…
…that two year old humans have more sophisticated learning skills that apes. Thank you, science!

He was probably on the pot at the time.
A Northeastern University freshman leaned out his dorm window on Sunday and loudly announced to a dorm across the way that he and his roommate had pot for sale. Busted soon after? That’s right.

Feel the Thompson fever!
Fred Thompson announced his candidacy for President on the TONIGHT SHOW.

Story of the week
AP: “Wayne Watson loved microwave popcorn so much he would eat at least two bags each night, breathing in the steam from the just-opened package, until doctors told him it may have made him sick. Watson, whose case of ‘popcorn lung’ is the sole reported case of the disease in a non-factory worker, said he is convinced his heavy consumption of popcorn caused his health problems.”

Which is why I always eat my popcorn while wearing a gas mask.

Weekly World News. You shall be missed at the checkout line.

Bin Laden
Apparently, he is about to debut a brand new video as part of a commemoration of 9/11. Break out the popcorn. And the gas masks.

Why not Minot?
Last week an Air Force crew at Minot, North Dakota, mistakenly loaded six nuclear-armed cruise missiles beneath the wings of a B-52 bomber, which then flew to an air base in Louisiana.

Well, everybody makes mistakes. As it happens, I grew up not far from Minot, in a town called Williston. I had occasion to see an orthodontist in Minot at one point. As a kind of sugar to leaven that unpleasantness, my parents allowed me to appear on the Marshall Bill Show (you know, cartoons from 3 to 4 weekdays, hosted by the local weatherman, dressed like a cowboy). I won an ant farm, for reasons I no longer recall. The ant farm arrived at my home a few weeks later, but all the ants were dead.

All part of the wonder and glory that is Minot.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

New study reveals…
…that two year old humans have more sophisticated learning skills that apes. Thank you, science!

We've replaced these two-year-old humans with scientifically-trained apes. Will their parents know the difference? Let's watch!

-D.E. :-)

3:33 PM  

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