Saturday, June 07, 2008


Ipso fucking facto
Tom DeLay appeared on the Mike Gallagher radio show last week. I have no idea who Mike Gallagher is, but I have a hunch he’s one of those “right wing” hosts. (I’m a liberal. Which means I’m intuitive, not rational in any way.) DeLay told the host, “I have said it publicly, and I will again, that unless he proves me wrong, he is a Marxist.”

So, Mr. Obama, with that threat hanging over your head, you (or your comrades) may want to give Mr. DeLay (or his minions) a call to set him straight.

The host, apparently, according to The Hill’s blog, Briefing Room, said that Obama is "desperately trying to cover up what seems to be the kind of old school Marxist radical liberal failed ideology." DeLay agreed: “Absolutely. No doubt about it.”

I dunno. When I think about Barrack Obama, the qualifier “desperate” does not spring to mind.

Holy cow! What an amazing trip that was! Especially considering he’s an old school Marxist ideologue!

Where have I been?
For you legions of fans who hang on my every blog, I apologize. Personal issues have kept me from posting more regularly. Money issues. Personal issues. Scheduling issues. Deep broke-related funks have occurred. Simmering resentments, long fostered and long withheld, have burst into flame. I have been attempting to quell those flames. And I certainly do not want to share the heat with you. Certain resentments are best held close to the chest – unless you relish the mutterings of a quickly aging man ticking off his laundry list of grievances? And I do have one. If I can just find it…. Where are my glasses?

So my computer got invaded, uninvited, by antispywaremaster, which purports to be an anti-spy/virus program, but is actually a virus/spyware DELIVERY system. I have no idea how I got it. I did not download anything. It just showed up as a pop-up banner, urging me to buy it, because my computer is at risk. My hunch is that I got it from playing Scrabulous, which only formats properly on Explorer. I hate to give up Scrabulous, but if a legion of viruses invading me is the price to pay, well, it’s just not worth it. Getting rid of antispywaremaster proved to be a problem. There is an anti-antispywaremaster program, which I downloaded, and which located the various sites where antispywaremwaster lurks, but if I wanted that program to delete those sites, I would have had to purchase the anti-antispywaremaster software. So is the anti-antispywareprogram part of the antispywaremaster scheme? Can I go back to paper and pencil please? If not, I eagerly await the release of Firefox 3. Will it support Scrabulous? I await, all a-tremble. (I did get rid of antispywaremaster by the way. If you ever get saddled with it, drop me a line, I’ll tell you how to get rid of it. Mac users, shut up. Smugness does not become you.)

Why we love San Francisco?
Mark Morford has a column in the San Francisco Chronicle. I met him briefly at a reading a year or so back, and he seems like a nice intelligent young fellow. Yet he wrote this Friday: “Many spiritually advanced people (not coweringly religious, mind you, but deeply spiritual) I know identify Obama as a Lightworker….”

Well, I had to stop reading right there. Pause for a moment. Gather breath. Resist the urge to throw the newspaper across the room – after all, I’d just paid fifty cents for it.

Now, I realize he is preaching to the choir - that is, the spiritually advanced people who populate the Bay Area. You have probably seen them yourselves. They glow. They glow specially.

But there is also, I imagine, a group of people not from the Bay Area - tourists, if you will – from places like Ohio, and Iowa, and Florida. If such were to turn to this column last Friday, what might they have thought? A Methodist, say, or an atheist? Or even a United Church of Christ Obama supporter? I imagine thought balloons rising over cable cars everywhere: “Lightworker? What is he going on about?”

Girding my unspiritual loins, I resumed: “… that rare kind of calmly enlightened being who has the ability to lead us not merely to new foreign policies or health care plans or whatnot, but who can actually help usher in a new way of being on the planet….”

Or whatnot? What? Usher in a new way of being on the planet? Cripes. Haven’t we had enough of that? History is full of evil jokers ushering in new ways of being on the planet.

Morford later goes on to cite JFK as a Lightworker model. He muses that JFK was assassinated “…because he was just this kind of high-vibration being, a peacemaker, at odds with the war machine, the CIA, the dark side, and it killed him.”

Well now. When I was 12, I worshipped JFK. I mean that pretty much literally. I started reading James Bond novels because I’d read he was a fan of them. But history has pretty much shown that JFK was in bed with the Mafia (and getting out of bed with the Mafia may have been a contributing factor in his assassination, according to some paranoid theorists), a compulsive horn dog (who used poor Peter Lawford as a beard in his affairs), was addicted to pain killers, left the Cubans out to dry at Bay of Pigs (another contributing factor to his assassination, according to some paranoid theorists), nearly destroyed the world with the Cuban Missile Crisis, and dragged us further into the Viet Nam War.

So. I dunno. JFK as Lightworker? Barrack Obama as Jedi warrior?

Crappy movies, anyone?
The new Indiana Jones movie sucks, apparently. Although, full disclosure, I didn’t care for any of them that much, except for TEMPLE OF DOOM, which I am alone in liking I believe.

SEX AND THE CITY came out. It’s like, two hours and fifteen minutes long. The fuck? Well, I guess if you have a Lana Turner movie with four Lana Turners, you have to give each Lana her turn. My favorite review so far, from Anthony Lane in the New Yorker, suggested that the movie be subtitled, THE LYING, THE BITCH, AND THE WARDROBE.

Also, while I was in Vermont, witnessing my daughter’s graduation, I was staying with my friends Debbie and Paul. Paul was ill, and Debbie was gathering movies for him to watch. One of them was MR. WILSON’S WAR, which I watched after they had gone to bed. What the hell kind of movie was that? It had the tone of an airy romantic comedy, but it was about getting money to buy machine guns and rocket launchers to shoot down Russian helicopters in Afghanistan. Afterwards, I lay down, puzzled. This frequently occurs. With me. How’s by you?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Merle Kessler wrote:
The new Indiana Jones movie sucks, apparently.

I thought it was a good idea for an Indiana Jones film, but it could have been better directed. Maybe Steven Spielberg was just taking a really long lunch during the making of this film....


12:32 PM  
Blogger jlh said...

My wife believes that Mr. Morford's prose style can be so thick at times that it doesn't let enough oxygen get to his brain. Your post - QED

8:57 AM  

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