Monday, March 03, 2008


Poor Britney
In the line at Long’s I saw Britney Spears’ face on three tabloid covers.

I have a theory about all this. Okay, we’re in Web 2.0, right? According to (a site I recommend by the way), Web One was people sharing their little gardens (i.e. websites), whereas Web Two is people SHARING gardens (social networking, etc.). The Web itself is “democratizing” media (Agh! Scare quotes!) in that media used to be tied to time and place – you have to be at the theater at 7:30 if you want to see the movie; you have to be parked in front of the television if you want to see your favorite story at 8:00. That has all changed.

And ANYBODY can make a movie. We can be the producers, the directors, the directors, and the audience. This leads to a lot of crappy video, but that’s not the point. The point is we can actually interact with people who make stuff, comment on it, share it with others. Any time. Any where.

Big media is scared of this. I don’t blame them.

But we (New Media, which is the world) should be scared as well. Big media is protected by lawyers, agents, public relations folk. We are not.

On the other hand, most of us post stuff as a lark. Then let it go. If it catches on, we high five each other, and that’s about it. Unless Big Media makes an offer….

Think about this: QUARTERLIFE (I won’t explain it to you; check it out) went from an Internet phenom to an NBC series to a series on Bravo (owned by NBC) in about two weeks. That is just weird.

What does this have to do with Britney? My theory is that we still crave celebrities, but now we have mixed feelings about them. Because we want them to interact with us. Because we are them now, after all, without the fame part. We can do what they do. So who are they? They're nothing. And yet everything!

We love you, Tom Cruise! Fuck you. We love you, Britney. Here’s a picture of her pussy!

The papparazzi gather, the last of a desperate breed, trying to get dirt on the last people who will ever be dirty, ever again. Well, from now on, all of us will be dirty, but we’ll only care for two seconds.

Oh, there’s an election?
I understand it’s about change. I like Obama. I think I’ve had enough Clintons for one lifetime. But “Change We Can Believe In?” What the hell does that mean? If you don’t believe in a change, does it still make a noise?

Back to dirt!
So Jimmy Wales, founder of Wikipedia, broke up with his wife, and hooked up with Rachel Marsden, the Canadian equivalent of Ann Coulter (I love her!), then broke up with her, posting the news on Wikipedia, causing her to spam the world with their hot IM chats, and posting the clothes he’d left behind at her apartment on eBay.

See? Geek scandal! Don’t even read about it. Two seconds from now it will all be over. Move on. Nothing to see here.

Watch out for Rachel Marsden, however. Google her. I think you will agree: you definitely don't want her as a girlfriend.

I fucked Ben Affleck. (Check it out on YouTube!)
A year from now, we’ll all be forced to watch hi-def tv. Do we really need to see Sarah Silverman, funny as she is no doubt, on a teevee screen the size of your living room wall? Which is she? Hi-rez, or lo-rez? Which are we all? Man that's deep.

I'm just waiting for the Rachel Marsden story on Lifetime.


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