Sunday, January 06, 2008

Self Help Blog

Dr. Phil to the Rescue!
According to the Associated Press, Dr. Phil showed up as Britney Spears was checking herself out of the hospital, and walked her to her car. He said he talked with her for an hour, and told reporters that “she is in dire need of both medical and psychological intervention.” However, gossip site TMZ says, “We're told Britney did not invite him in; she didn't even know he was coming. Sources say it was Brit's parents who told Dr. Phil to go to the hospital. When he walked into her room, we're told, a blindsided Britney walked out -- and eventually came back. Sources say Phil tried speaking with Spears for about 15 minutes -- not an hour as Dr. Phil's press release states -- but she wanted none of it. We're told Phil was doing almost all the talking. As for walking with her to the car on her way out -- again, as his release states -- we're told if he was walking behind her, that's news to her. She absolutely was not accompanied by him.”

Britney’s Mom, incidentally, will be on Dr. Phil’s show this Tuesday. Coincidence or amazing synchronicity?

The wisdom of Joel Osteen
"If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be up on it. If God carried a wallet, your photo would be in it."

Okay, but why would God have a refrigerator? And where would God carry His wallet?

She’s Long Island Dolores now, if you please, with a newfound dignity.
AP: “Former ‘Long Island Lolita’ Amy Fisher is joining her husband in trying to market a sex tape, saying, ‘I always wanted to be No. 1 at something, but I didn't think it would be something like this.’”

Lizard news!
Faced with a cold snap in Florida, iguanas are lapsing into a kind of involuntary hibernation, and falling out of trees.

Formerly cute Knut
Knut apparently will be cute again, if the Berlin Zoo goes through with a deal to make the bear the star of an animated movie. Contrary to rumor, baby Knut will not be voiced by Suri Cruise. A Cruise family friend ttold MSNBC, “Suri doesn’t even speak in full sentences yet.” And neither does Knut.

Tyger tyger rumor
I have a friend who works at a San Francisco hospital, who happened to be on duty when the two young men mauled by the tiger were brought in. He claims that the two had slingshots on their persons.

Iowa
This is the weirdest election ever, isn’t it? All these candidates were in Iowa for about half a millennium, giving the same stump speech day after day, leaving reporters with nothing to write about except candidates’ body language, energy levels, and minute to minute standings in the polls. The BBC was covering the caucuses! It is very odd to hear people with British accents talking about Iowa. It just doesn’t seem right.

I lived in Iowa for some years, and thought it was a fine place, full of fine people. So the Iowa backlash rather puzzles me. Typical was this letter to the editor of the San Francisco Chronicle: “That one small state has usurped onto itself such influence and attention is bizarre…. Iowa does not even represent the Midwest well. Minnesota, Wisconsin and Illinois are more populous, wealthier, more sophisticated.” The writer of the letter was from San Anselmo, which is more populous, wealthier, and more sophisticated than Redwood City.

Huckabee is like the uncle I never had
Mike Huckabee apparently had a negative ad against Mitt Romney, which he decided to pull from circulation. He did this by announcing at a press conference that he was pulling the ad, because he was above such tactics. He then showed the ad to the reporters. And the Washington Post reported that the ad actually did run in Iowa, three times, on New Year’s Eve.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Joseph Nebus said...

Reuters carried today some sad news from the Nuremberg Zoo regarding their own polar bears, with a headline that made me glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read it: Germany denied Knut sequel as polar bear eats cub.

4:51 PM  
Blogger Chus said...

This is what I think: Dov Chaney

1:48 AM  

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