End of Year Blog
From the Internet, God Bless It!
“Is there anyone other than me that feels a little uncomfortable when there is a male dog around children? Human men can't walk around with their parts exposed to children and if they were to expose themselves, I'm sure you'd agree that the behavior would be most inappropriate. I know the doggies can't help it, but I still do not like male dogs around my girls. For a while, I even thought I was over reacting, and I adopted a little boy, figuring that he was a small dog so his ‘little man’ would be small too and his fur would help cover him. But my girls still ask questions. How do I explain to my 3 year old what ‘it’ is? I am considering adopting him out.... any advice??”
Say to your daughters, “That there is a penis.” Don’t call the penis a “little man.” Please.
From an email I received.
Help me becoming famous. I am naked all over the Internet.
From another email I received.
After four months my erection were like steel.
Other old news, from the year about to end.
Actually, it was last December that Wonkette (Remember her? Well, it’s not a “her” any more; Wonkette left to pursue fame and fortune unsuccessfully, and has been replaced by a couple of guys.) discovered FREEDOM IN PERIL, a “graphic novel” supposedly from the National Rifle Association depicting all the reasons Americans need to bear arms – including Animal Rights Terrorists, George Soros, Rosie O’Donnell, Katie Couric, Michael Bloomberg, Michael Moore, Illegal Alien Gangs, One World Extremeists, and Angry Black People.
NRA spokesman Andrew Arulanandam told ABC News last December, "What you see on the Internet is just in draft form. We have not even signed off on it yet. It was stolen during production."
I guess the NRA gave up on it. And I really wanted a copy too!
Let’s retire these in 2008, okay?
“Over time”
“End of the day”
“Boots on the ground”
“Web 2.0”
New York Times, last October
On Valerie Plame Wilson’s book, FAIR GAME, which was redacted by the CIA: “The publisher, Simon & Schuster, has appended an 80-page afterword by a journalist that essentially unredacts the redactions, giving many of the facts that the C.I.A.’s Publications Review Board cut from Ms. Wilson’s text. Unlike Ms. Wilson, the journalist, Laura Rozen, never signed an agreement to have her words vetted by the agency.”
Kindling
Amazon released its new e-book reader, Kindle, because Americans are sick and tired of turning pages.
NYT with odd spin.
“The assassination of Benazir Bhutto is a rare unscripted test of presidential hopefuls’ leadership qualities and geopolitical smarts.” So it’s not just a senseless death, it’s an opportunity!
Baby Jesus Locator
AP, down Florida way:
“A baby Jesus statue here is getting a Global Positioning System for Christmas. The statue, part of a nativity scene, will be equipped with the device after the previous statue went missing, even though it had been bolted down.
"’I don't anticipate this will ever happen again,’ said Dina Cellini, who oversees the display, ‘but we may need to rely on technology to save our savior.’
“The Mary and Joseph statues will also be fitted with GPS devices, she said.
“The devices are being bought using residents' contributions and Cellini's own money.
“Cellini has also installed a Plexiglas screen in front of the display.”
Baby Jesus Locator Redux
Engadget: “The folks in Florida noticed that their GPS-equipped baby Jesus … was missing from his nativity, and fired up the old GPS tracker. Turns out they didn't have to look far: baby Jesus had been swiped Wednesday night and brought to a house across the street from the nativity. Deputies showed up at the door Thursday morning and hauled off the 18-year-old female culprit with a charge of grand theft. The statue is valued at $800, while the GPS system rings up at $400, and the girl is currently in jail with bail set at $3,500.”
Pyramid Scheme
BBC News: “Egypt's MPs are expected to pass a law requiring royalties be paid whenever copies are made of museum pieces or ancient monuments such as the pyramids.”
Don’t fret! The Luxor in Vegas will not be affected, because it’s not an exact copy of a pyramid. However, an Egyptian spokesperson said that the Luxor can no longer claim to be “the only pyramid-shaped building in the world.”
“Is there anyone other than me that feels a little uncomfortable when there is a male dog around children? Human men can't walk around with their parts exposed to children and if they were to expose themselves, I'm sure you'd agree that the behavior would be most inappropriate. I know the doggies can't help it, but I still do not like male dogs around my girls. For a while, I even thought I was over reacting, and I adopted a little boy, figuring that he was a small dog so his ‘little man’ would be small too and his fur would help cover him. But my girls still ask questions. How do I explain to my 3 year old what ‘it’ is? I am considering adopting him out.... any advice??”
Say to your daughters, “That there is a penis.” Don’t call the penis a “little man.” Please.
From an email I received.
Help me becoming famous. I am naked all over the Internet.
From another email I received.
After four months my erection were like steel.
Other old news, from the year about to end.
Actually, it was last December that Wonkette (Remember her? Well, it’s not a “her” any more; Wonkette left to pursue fame and fortune unsuccessfully, and has been replaced by a couple of guys.) discovered FREEDOM IN PERIL, a “graphic novel” supposedly from the National Rifle Association depicting all the reasons Americans need to bear arms – including Animal Rights Terrorists, George Soros, Rosie O’Donnell, Katie Couric, Michael Bloomberg, Michael Moore, Illegal Alien Gangs, One World Extremeists, and Angry Black People.
NRA spokesman Andrew Arulanandam told ABC News last December, "What you see on the Internet is just in draft form. We have not even signed off on it yet. It was stolen during production."
I guess the NRA gave up on it. And I really wanted a copy too!
Let’s retire these in 2008, okay?
“Over time”
“End of the day”
“Boots on the ground”
“Web 2.0”
New York Times, last October
On Valerie Plame Wilson’s book, FAIR GAME, which was redacted by the CIA: “The publisher, Simon & Schuster, has appended an 80-page afterword by a journalist that essentially unredacts the redactions, giving many of the facts that the C.I.A.’s Publications Review Board cut from Ms. Wilson’s text. Unlike Ms. Wilson, the journalist, Laura Rozen, never signed an agreement to have her words vetted by the agency.”
Kindling
Amazon released its new e-book reader, Kindle, because Americans are sick and tired of turning pages.
NYT with odd spin.
“The assassination of Benazir Bhutto is a rare unscripted test of presidential hopefuls’ leadership qualities and geopolitical smarts.” So it’s not just a senseless death, it’s an opportunity!
Baby Jesus Locator
AP, down Florida way:
“A baby Jesus statue here is getting a Global Positioning System for Christmas. The statue, part of a nativity scene, will be equipped with the device after the previous statue went missing, even though it had been bolted down.
"’I don't anticipate this will ever happen again,’ said Dina Cellini, who oversees the display, ‘but we may need to rely on technology to save our savior.’
“The Mary and Joseph statues will also be fitted with GPS devices, she said.
“The devices are being bought using residents' contributions and Cellini's own money.
“Cellini has also installed a Plexiglas screen in front of the display.”
Baby Jesus Locator Redux
Engadget: “The folks in Florida noticed that their GPS-equipped baby Jesus … was missing from his nativity, and fired up the old GPS tracker. Turns out they didn't have to look far: baby Jesus had been swiped Wednesday night and brought to a house across the street from the nativity. Deputies showed up at the door Thursday morning and hauled off the 18-year-old female culprit with a charge of grand theft. The statue is valued at $800, while the GPS system rings up at $400, and the girl is currently in jail with bail set at $3,500.”
Pyramid Scheme
BBC News: “Egypt's MPs are expected to pass a law requiring royalties be paid whenever copies are made of museum pieces or ancient monuments such as the pyramids.”
Don’t fret! The Luxor in Vegas will not be affected, because it’s not an exact copy of a pyramid. However, an Egyptian spokesperson said that the Luxor can no longer claim to be “the only pyramid-shaped building in the world.”
posted by Merle Kessler at 2:20 PM
1 Comments:
Merle Kessler wrote:
Say to your daughters, “That there is a penis.” Don’t call the penis a “little man.” Please.
Hmmm, there's a remake of "The Fly" I really don't want to see....
-D.E.
"Help me!" ;-)
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