Saturday, September 15, 2007

Dada Blogblog

Home Grown Dada
So the Wee Bride and I came back from Wisconsin with some horrible (by that I mean irritating) virus. The inability to concentrate, coupled with pulsating sinus headaches, and rather moist coughs left us pretty much watching bad teevee on the couch, dozing, and reading Christian romance novels (her, by Grace Livingston Hill) or re-reading Nero Wolfe (me, by Rex Stout).

It was in this mode that a commercial appeared, for some upcoming doctor show or other, in which (near as I could tell in my diminished state of apprehension) physicians were having sex with each other in the Caribbean. How this is a basis for a series I don’t know. But the Wee Bride bestirred herself from her doze long enough to mutter “Dr. Hoo Ha’s Ding Dong.”

I surmised that that was the name of this series in her half-awake dream world. Since (as we all know) the Wee Bride’s dreams have at least an implicit effect on the world we live in, I would recommend watching for DR. HOO HA’S DING DONG this fall, Sundays at ten on ABC.

Dada on the Road
Just returned from Visalia, where Philosophy Talk (10 a.m. Tuesdays on KALW 91.7 FM, and found streaming at philosophytalk.org) was taped live at the College of the Sequoias - topic, immigration. The taping went very well, and the final result can be heard on the air the week of November 11. I appeared (as Ian Shoales) with a brief piece about sovereignty and immigration. I was pretty tickled with it. I managed to go from the Peace of Westphalia (1648) to now in about two minutes. Thank you, Wikipedia! (I don't want to hear anything bad about Wikipedia, okay?)

Afterwards, we assembled at a local pub for drinks and food. At one point I stepped outside for a smoke (yes, I smoke; shut up). A group of young people walked by on the sidewalk. One of them said to me, pointing to the curb, “That’s a storm drain,” in a slightly disapproving manner.

Feeling feisty, I replied, “Do you think I’m going to blow it up?”

The speaker, who had already passed me by, turned and dashed to the curb. Pointing to a curbstone, he said (approximately), “Zho zho zho!” Then he dashed back to join his friends.

Well, I was flummoxed. I looked to where he had pointed. There was no drain. Just a plain old curb.

Zho zho zho? What was that all about? Suggestions welcome.

Sign Seen on Freeway
“Drive time is Pie Time.”

Headline in Visalia Paper
Drug Cops Find Kids in Vile Home

Why They Hate Us….
From an email, from Tango, some online magazine or other:
“Autumn’s nearly here, and pumpkins aren’t the only crop ripe for the pickin’—there’s a bounty of cute, single men in New York City who are ready for the harvest, too. Where can you find them? At Tango’s first-ever Man Harvest. This year’s full harvest moon (and man-fest) will occur on Wednesday, September 26th—an auspicious day to mingle and perhaps meet your match. According to Chinese legend, on this day the Man in the Moon was spotted at an inn, carrying a writing tablet. When questioned, he said he was recording the names of all the couples who were fated to marry and live happily ever after! Secure your spot now, and be sure to invite your single girlfriends, too. But there’s a twist: Each of us attending Man Harvest must have at least one ripe male specimen in tow—that is, a cute, straight, very eligible guy she wants to offer up to womankind. One is required, more are encouraged. And remember, on a harvest moon, you reap what you sow!”

Correct me if I’m wrong, but when you harvest something, don’t you eat it?

Back to Immigration…
Visalia is a rather conservative joint. (Hugh Hewitt posters were everywhere downtown, advertising his presence at some coming up right-to-life rally in Tulare County.) That being said, Visalia and environs are also teeming with “illegal immigrants,” or (as we used to call them) “migrant farm workers.” The new crackdown on “illegals” has caused much anxiety and fear among their number. How low-paid cotton pickers came to be criminals all of a sudden is a puzzlement to me.

But Ann Coulter, as always, is available to shed some light on the subject. I happened to pick up a copy of THE VALLEY CONSERVATIVE (it’s free!), which is a compendium of columns by folks like Ollie North (who many people think of as a hero, for some reason, instead of an ideology-driven idiot whose shenanigans could have brought down the Reagan presidency), and Michelle Malkin, and William F. Buckley (he seems awfully sane these days, doesn’t he?), and Ann Coulter.

One of her columns therein was titled, 1 DOWN, 11,999,999 TO GO. Her take on illegal immigrants seemed to be that they should be deported because they’re psychotic. She had a list of five illegal immigrants who had been charged or found guilty of sex crimes, hit-and-run, and assault….

She wrote, “For simplicity, I have limited my enumeration of illegal aliens I would like deported to those who were charged or convicted of heinous crimes last week. For illegal aliens charged with child molestation, I had to limit it to two days last week.”

So there were so many illegal immigrant child molesters in one week that she didn't have room to name them all? Okay, whatever.

Then she made a complete left turn (without signalling), to say, “Liberals are losing the demographic war. Christians have lots of children…; liberals abort children and encourage the gay lifestyle…. They can’t keep up.”

I admit freely that following the Ann Coulter logic makes my head hurt (even without the Wisconsin virus!), but I THINK she’s saying that liberals are in favor of illegal immigration, because they can’t or won’t have children themselves, and illegal immigrants breed like rabbits, producing conflicted (i.e. child-molested) fodder that can be induced to vote for Democrats when they come of age.

I dunno. Ann Coulter is obviously a moron and insane. Therefore all women are insane morons. Does that follow? I await input. Zho zho zho.

3 Comments:

Blogger Liberal Seagull said...

Ann Coulter also seems to be assuming that Christianity is hereditary. I think evidence suggests otherwise.

2:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Christian romance novels (her, by Grace Livingston Hill) or re-reading Nero Wolfe (me, by Rex Stout).

You could fatten the old coffer by including links to these books at certain book-selling sites. Unless that's against your philosophy....

I bet that if they ever develop the memory-erasing technology of "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind", a large demand will come from people who want to re-experience book series like "Nero Wolfe", for the first time.

-D.E.
wishes he could buy all of Nero Wolfe in one omnibus volume!

3:06 PM  
Blogger Merle Kessler said...

Good idea, D.E. My philosophy, whatever it is, always involves making money if I can.

4:17 PM  

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