Sunday, June 11, 2006

Scarry Ann Blog

Who's the Coultest of them all?
I’m a little baffled by the appeal of Ann Coulter, though I confess that I'm fascinated by her. I think it’s because I can’t figure out what the deal is. She dresses like a flirty southern belle, is painfully thin, has hair so blond it can blind you, yet what comes out of her butter-wouldn't-melt-in-it mouth is pretty cold butter….

In her new book, LIBERALS SHOULD DIE (or something), she writes about the so-called Jersey Girls, who lost husbands on 9/11: “These broads are millionaires, lionized on TV and in articles about them, reveling in their status as celebrities and stalked by grief-arazzis. I’ve never seen people enjoying their husbands’ deaths so much.”

Even if that’s true, isn’t that the free market in action? What is it to her? Of course, her words have been characterized by her adherents as humor and satire, which liberals just don’t get. I can see the effort to be funny, certainly, but pushing a car really hard doesn’t necessarily make it go.

How can the millionaire broads, for example, both revel in their celebrity status and be stalked by “grief-arazzis?” If they’re seeking celebrity, who’s stalking whom? I’ll admit that “grief-arazzis” is original, but how can she chide people trying to make a buck off drawing attention to grieving widows, when she’s doing the same thing herself?

“I’ve never seen people enjoying their husbands’ deaths so much.” This doesn’t make any sense. For them to have status as grieving widows - in order to make political points - why would they want to be seen as reveling in their status, or enjoying it? I, for one, don’t recall any photographs or videos of 9/11 widows tap-dancing on their husbands’ graves.

Here’s what she said to Lou “Mr. Charisma” Dobbs:

“Well, there are a lot more attacks on one side than the other. And if you're describing what I say about the Jersey Girls as reducing dialogue in America, au contraire. I think it is precisely the opposite. That is my objection to what liberals are doing by sending out victims as their spokespeople. I think it's the ugliest thing liberals have done to dialogue in this country.

“Yeah, there are important issues and we should discuss it. But if you have a point to make, send out somebody who isn't a widow, who isn't an orphan, who didn't have a son die in Iraq, who didn't lose limbs in Vietnam to make the point so that we can respond, because I don't want to hear when I respond, ‘Oh, that's mean. Oh, that's mean.’ No, let's have a dialogue about the issues. You never see conservatives doing that. Liberals are putting up human shields.”

So then. President Bush, when he set the jet down on the aircraft carrier and declared victory, wasn’t presenting himself as a victim? Given his approval ratints, it sure turned out that way, didn’t it? And what about Ms. Schiavo? She couldn’t testify, of course, being brain-dead and all, but as a Silent Witness, she spoke volumes. And made a dandy human shield for conservatives.

I do see Ms. Coulter’s point. I stop reading any letter to the editor that begins, “As a working mother, I…,” or “As a longtime activist, I must…” Cindy Sheehan has become annoying. Certainly, a person’s status as a Mom, gay person, soldier, or whatever does not confer a special moral status. On the other hand, if you’re gong to set policy about, say, land mines, shouldn’t you hear a few words from those who were maimed by them?

Ms. Coulter seems to want to limit “discussion of important issues” to experts with Power Point demonstrations. And, of course, people like her.

On HANNITY AND COLMES, Alan Colmes asked Ann Coulter whether, if given the opportunity, the 9-11 widows "would not give up every piece of celebrity and notoriety they have to have their husbands back."

She said, "Oh, I don't know. At this point, to give up $2 million ... to have to go back to cooking meals and not ... appearing in Vanity Fair. They're clearly enjoying their celebrity status."

Next time around she’ll probably accuse the Jersey Girls of setting up 9/11 themselves just so they could get the insurance money.

So, Ann Coulter’s appeal. It’s kind of like listening to a talking Barbie, only instead of talking about shopping, she talks about beheading liberals. She looks like an off-duty flight attendant from 1962, but talks like your mean grandmother who still holds a grudge about the raw deal Joe McCarthy got. She’s like Paris Hilton, only she thinks she has a brain. But at least Paris Hilton might give you a blow job.

5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Every time I read her work I keep thinking, "But this is satire, right? A modern day version of "A Modest Proposal" right? A DNC plot to make conservatives look comically cruel, right?"

As with so much in life, I fear I am wrong on this thought as well.

11:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure Richard Scarry never had a character like Ann Coulter, but I haven't read all the "Busy Town" series; so I'm not sure.

-D.E. ;-)

1:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You obviously missed the Lowly Worm tracts "What Liberals Do All Day" and "How to Talk to Huckle, if You Must."

4:14 PM  
Blogger Merle Kessler said...

Can't a guy make a simple typo any more without everybody making fun of him - and worse - poor Richard Scarry? Remember: he did everything for the children. It's all about the children. Or chirlden I suppose.

4:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Admittedly, going after blog typos is a pretty pointless effort, but it was such a good typo. It seemed to be a subtle jab at the level of Ann Coulter's body of work. And the juxtaposition of Richard Scarry's beloved works with Ann Coulter's bile is hardly making fun of him. I am sure it is no worse than anything A. A. Milne, Kay Thompson, or Maurice Sendak have had to endure. (And I have always suspected Lowly Worm harbored some deep resentments, having to fit into the bipedal world of Busytown. I mean, most of the population goes barefoot, but they make this poor worm wear a shoe... a shoe with laces no less!)

On the other hand, one of my daughter's favorite books, which I read to her every night for a good three week stretch, was "Richard Scarry Bedtime Stories," which included a police pursuit of a shoplifting baboon, pirate mice leaving Huckle's uncle on a deserted island, a bad day for Mr. Raccoon that was practically Tennessee Williams for the Rated G set, and a tale about Mr. Pig repeatedly driving off with the wrong vehicle, which is probably only a licensing contract away from spawning the game "Grand Theft Auto: Busytown." So perhaps he has earned a bit fun at his expense, at least in my world.

7:06 PM  

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