Monday, June 13, 2005

Monday Monday

MJ Acquitted!
Here’s the lyrics for a song I wrote ten or so years ago:

Deep in the night, no one’s ever flown higher.
The Lost Boys are singing me in.
To be where they are is my only desire.
I don’t know the meaning of sin.

Come Peter Pan, take my little brown hand.
Tinkerbell, sprinkle your dust.
Into the night, second star from the right!
I’ve got your happy thought. Give me your trust.

I’ve tasted glory. Glory be done.
I’m done with this planet, third world from the sun.
How can a child live a life as a man?
Release me from life in this tired Neverland.

Come Peter Pan, take my little brown hand.
Release me from life in this cold Neverland.

He doesn’t want to have sex with ten year olds. He wants to BE ten years old. In my opinion.

Another child star, revealed.
Danica McKellar, Winnie from the WONDER YEARS, is going to pose in a bikini for STUFF Magazine, to “prove she’s not a little girl anymore.”

In a hardhitting no-holds-barred interview for the magazine, Ms. McKeller reminisced:
“I was a total nerd. I was actually kind of uppity. And the boys [of Wonder Years] were pranksters. I never had little brothers, so I was totally not used to hearing a lot of cussing at a young age! I learned what ‘pull my finger’ meant the hard way.”

Poor kid. There are so many EASY ways to discover what “pull my finger” means. But those ways, apparently, were closed to her.

From Texas!
Houston, to be precise, courtesy of Yahoo: “Two daughters have sued a synagogue after they found a potato chip can in place of their mother's remains behind the locked, glass door of her niche in a mausoleum."

The potato chips, allegedly, were sour cream and onion.

What does THIS mean for the EU?
Headline found on AP: “Nearly 40% Of French Men Wish They Could Be Pregnant, Poll Says”

For horny gamers!
“Virtually Jenna," according to the game’s press release, features Jenna Jameson in a scenario that lets players "simulate control of her sexual activity and even decide when she reaches a state of bliss."

But you can do this with yourself, for free! If you don't mind the hair on your palms. And going blind.

State of bliss, old school.

Cheney offended!
In a touching display of concern for the opposition, Vice President Dick Cheney told Fox’s Hannity & Colmes that Howard Dean, the Democratic Party’s national chairman, is “not the kind of individual you want representing your political party.”

Maybe Tom DeLay could apply for the job.

Big Brother Lite.
This is from an article in USA Today, about employers monitoring employees’ off-duty behavior:

“At the Atlantic City, Borgata Hotel Casino & Spa, bartenders and waitresses can be fired if they gain more than 7% of their body weight. They are first given a 90-day unpaid suspension to lose the weight. Officials say it is a recent clarification to the company's appearance policy….

“Lynne Gobbell was fired from her job packing insulation by her Moulton, Ala.-based employer for displaying a John Kerry bumper sticker on her car…..”

On the left side of the coin, “…half the states have laws preventing employers from firing workers who smoke off duty…”

It’s the new, creepy America. Political correctness from the right and left! Plus! We seem to be owned by China!

Up and Down?
What is this new DC fetish with the “up and down vote?” What is this, high school? Yeah, I can see a straight up vote for class treasurer, but for lifetime positions for federal judges?

Another thing: this so-called moderate coalition that stalled the so-called "nuclear option," did it prevent the confirmation of Janice Rogers Brown? What was so damn moderate about it then?


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