Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Target-Rich Environment

Go ahead. Pull my string.
A Democratic lobbyist in California wants to create a “girlie man” bobblehead doll, with the likeness of Governor Schwarzenegger, wearing a pink dress and matching pumps. Now THAT’s comedy. And political discourse at its most elevated.

So what’s Pam Anderson up to?
She is currently dating Jesus - not the Messiah, but a performer with the always-irritating Cirque Du Soleil. He is in the ever-mutating, ever-expanding troupe’s new erotic show, ZUMANITY, currently titillating the easily titillated in Las Vegas. .

What about the bail bond economy?
Dick Cheney, in his incoherent musings a little while ago about the unacknowledged role of eBay in the formation of the NEW New Economy, also did not consider the roles that blackmail, extortion, and kidnap ransoms play in the global picture.

Whither Miss America?
Despite a shorter running time, the Miss America Pageant logged 500,000 fewer viewers than last year. The reason? In my opinion, it’s because they dumped the talent competition. If you can’t watch Miss Delaware tap dance to “God Bless America,” well, what’s the point of watching? Miss Alabama, Deidre Downs, took the title.

Seymour Hersh, interviewed in today’s Salon, on the Bushies.
“Wouldn't it be great if the reality was that they were lying about WMD, and they really didn't believe that democracy would come when they invaded Iraq, and you could go to war with 5,000 troops, a few special forces, a few bombs and a lot of American flags, and Iraq would fold, Saddam would be driven out, a new Baath Party would emerge that's moderate? Democracy would flow like water out of a fountain. These guys believe it. They believe WMD. There's no fallback with these guys. These guys are utopians. They're like Trotskyites. They believe in permanent revolution. They really believe….”

Some extras, apparently, from the new STAR WARS DVD.
Carrie Fisher: "I do remember permanently the hologram speech, because we had to reshoot it….
Whenever I get lost on the way to someone's house, or I just forget your name, it's because I remember the speech. ... 'General Kenobi, years ago you served my father in the Clone Wars ...’ I'm a thousand years old and I still remember that thing. It's very disturbing. I have to take medication, and yet it still won't go away."

Ditto: "I always liked the shampoo bottle where you twist my head off and pour liquid out of my neck. That's very Freudian. If I dreamed that, what would you think it meant?"

CSI, c’est what?
The new CSI: NY premieres this week. I like the franchise myself, especially enjoying the unusual line readings of David Caruso on CSI: MIAMI: “Here’s what I want you to do,” etc.

But here’s my question. Like LAW AND ORDER, it looks like CSI is going to branch out until we all get sick of it, storm the castle, and destroy the monster with torches. But before that happens, are there going to be enough Who songs to provide theme songs for the sequels?

Here’s the rundown:

CSI - “Who Are You?”
CSI:MIAMI - “Won’t Get Fooled Again”
CSI: NY – “Baba O’Riley”

Here are my suggestions for future spin-offs:

CSI: KENOSHA – “Pinball Wizard”
CSI: DENVER – “I Can See For Miles”
CSI FORT LAUDERDALE – “The Kids Are Alright”
CSI: RENO – “You Better You Bet”
CSI: PALM SPRINGS – “My Generation”
CSI: QUAD CITIES – “Quadrophenia”
CSI:LA – “Behind Blue Eyes”
CSI: DC – “Boris the Spider”

Duck’s Breath DVD
Dan, Jim, and Leon are winging into San Francisco to voice, as they say, the commentary for the DVD as it nears completion. Stay tuned.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pamela Anderson is taking a break from dating to concentrate on motherhood. The former ‘Baywatch’ actress – who recently filed for divorce from third husband Rick Salomon – wants to focus on 11-year-old Brandon and 10-year-old Dylan, her sons with ex-spouse Tommy Lee. She told talk show host Ellen DeGeneres: “ My attention is devoted to just kids at the moment. That’s taking up a lot of time ...

7:08 PM  

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