Sunday, May 13, 2007

Hairball Blog

Cat Nomenclature
Our Weird Neighbor, who feeds feral cats without any actual contact with them, has assembled four cats (at our count) which we (Wee Wife and I) have deemed to be Boots, Boots, Non-Boots, and Smaller Non-Boots, now known as Mama Non-Boots.. This week, kittens appeared, around two months old, near as we can tell, which we have dubbed Black Kitten, Black Kitten, Black Kitten, and the Gray One. With big boxy head.

Take that, Linnaeus!

Penis news
Viagra is losing market share to other impotence drugs.

Jim Crace
From the UK Guardian: “I am overjoyed to discover that my latest novel, Useless America (a catchy and fashionable title) was published at the end of September in a hardcover edition by Viking Penguin. It's a snip at £16.99 for 224 pages. … The only hitch is that Useless America is a phantom book - and it’s not even a phantom of my own creation. “

USELESS AMERICA does not exist, and Jim Crace did not write it. Um. It goes without saying.

Headline of week.
“Drunk man fails driving test.”

From WATCH YOUR BACK! A caper novel, by the great Donald E. Westlake
Thieves are talking with a geek:

“What were you on probation for?”…

“Well, downloading,” Raphael said…. “Taking music off the Web…. Some big German record company came after me, me and a bunch of other people… and said we were doing felonies.”

“You were on probation because you were listening to music? This is a crime?”

Dick Cheney, on an aircraft carrier, warned Iran: “We’ll stand with others to prevent Iran from gaining nuclear weapons and dominating the region.” Actually, he was talking to sailors, but Iran probably got the message.

Neighborhood moment
At the corner store, a six year old girl ran up to her mother and said, “Mom! I found a stick in my pocket!”

Then, beaming broadly, she showed the stick to her mother. It was a more of a twig, really, but I did not point that out to the girl. She’ll have enough disappointments in life.

Neighborhood moment 2
Overheard: “Ever since I got out of the pen, I’m such a lightweight. I smoke a blunt in the morning and have to lie down until night time comes.”

That’ll show ‘em department
NYT: ”Sophisticated Internet users have banded together … to publish and widely distribute a secret code used by the technology and movie industries to prevent piracy of high-definition movies.

“An online uproar came in response to a series of cease-and-desist letters from lawyers for a group of companies that use the copy protection system, demanding that the code be removed from several Web sites.

“Rather than wiping out the code — a string of 32 digits and letters in a specialized counting system — the legal notices sparked its proliferation on Web sites, in chat rooms, inside cleverly doctored digital photographs and on user-submitted news sites like

“’You’d rather see Digg go down fighting than bow down to a bigger company,’ wrote Kevin Rose, Digg’s founder, in a blog post. ‘We hear you, and effective immediately we won’t delete stories or comments containing the code and will deal with whatever the consequences might be.’ If Digg loses, he wrote, ‘at least we died trying.’”

The new creepy America
New royalty rates will probably drive most streaming audio of pop music off the Internet. New postal rates will probably drive most small circulation magazines out of business.

Mickey Mouse
A Hamas-run television station has a children’s show, featuring a Mickey Mouse lookalike called Farfur, who calls on viewers to resist Israel and the United States. Various Jewish groups have protested, to no avail. But wait until Disney’s lawyers get wind of this. Hamas doesn’t know what trouble is.

Freeway collapse in Emeryville
A former junkie, speeding in his gasoline truck in the wee hours of April 29, 2007, had an accident, which caused two sections of a freeway, part what we locals call the MacArthur Maze, to collapse, actually melting steel girders. But is that what REALLY happened?

From a blog post: “G-A-Y” is spelled ‘429’on a standard American telephone. The attacks occurred only 8.5 miles from the notorious Castro Street homosexual district. COINCIDENCE?”

And: “The name “Macarthur Maze” has 13 letters. Element 13 is Aluminum, an ingredient in Thermite. Aluminum oxide was discovered all over the scene, indicating a massive thermal event involving large amounts of aluminum. Unlike hydrocarbon fire, aluminothermic reactions can fuse steel or destroy it entirely. The police refuse to question Custom Alloy, a pro-aluminum corporation based within easy artillery range of the overpass.”

So there you have it. Dick Cheney did it.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

>Dick Cheney, on an aircraft carrier, warned Iran:
> “We’ll stand with others to prevent Iran from
> gaining nuclear weapons and dominating the region.”

From his pronominal case it seems that he has at least two other guys ready to stand with him. If he had said "with another", then he might have only one guy lined up.

-D.E. :-)

1:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wish I lived in your neighborhood.

6:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Speaking of Cheney, what are we to make of the DC Madam's lawyer's statement that he "isn't not" on her list of phone records?

9:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

>xensen said...
>Speaking of Cheney, what are we to make of the DC >Madam's lawyer's statement that he "isn't not" on >her list of phone records?

Government weaseliness can be caught by (alleged) sexual contact?


1:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

D.E., I think you've nailed it.

10:10 PM  
Blogger Merle Kessler said...

"Say it," the vice president whispered. "Say it."

"Surrender your gravitas," the comely vixen murmured in response. "Give me all your gravitas. Oooh, I need your gravitas, now."

8:35 AM  

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