Sunday, May 06, 2007

Maple Leaf Blog

Take that, Texas!
Canada has just minted the world’s largest coin - 20 inches in diameter, 1 inch thick, weighing 200 pounds, and pure gold. Denomination? One million dollars. But depending on gold’s market value, its actual worth is around $2.7 million.

Collect 'em all!

Not Lorne Greene, surely!
Canada's National History Society, which publishes the Canadian history magazine The Beaver, in order to counter Canada’s image as staid, dull, and nice, has issued a survey, asking readers to come up with “the worst Canadian.” The August 1 issue will publish poll results for “Canada's most foul, useless, maligning and destructive human forces.” Entries so far have included serial killer Paul Bernardo, Harold Ballard, (former owner of the Toronto Maple Leafs), Shania Twain, and Celine Dion.

I don’t think I’ve ever met a Canadian who wasn’t nice. There is a cultural tendency, however: when you meet a Canadian in the US, within ten minutes of your conversation, s/he will inform you of famous people who are Canadian: “Neil Young is Canadian. Lorne Michaels? Canadian. Joni Mitchell is Canadian. Dan Aykroyd. Alanis Morissette? That’s right. Canadian.”

Rule of thumb.
The name “Lorne” is a “Canadian” indicator.

Mike Myers?
Canadian.

Worst Canadian cat?
Reuters: “Canada's postal system has stopped delivering mail to a home in Winnipeg, Manitoba, after a mail carrier was scared away by a ‘very threatening cat,’ the Winnipeg Free Press said on Friday.”

The cat’s owner John Samborski, told the paper that “his eight-year-old, declawed, black cat Shadow is docile.” Shadow, he said, “likes to eat and sleep and cuddle. You could drop a bomb and he'd just open one eye, take a look, then close them and go back to sleep."

Maybe the search for the worst Canadian has made Canadians a little jumpy.

Last time I saw Paris…
In other news: Paris Hilton is headed for the stony lonesome for 45 days, having been convicted of violating her probation in a 2006 reckless driving case, by driving with a suspended license.

Following the sentence, according to the New York Daily News, she “drowned her sorrows …by shopping with her mother, Kathy, at Francis-Orr and Ermenegildo in Beverly Hills and grabbing lunch at Prego.”

The New York Daily News also interviewed women who have been in the hoosegow, as to what advice they could offer the troubled heiress. A sampling:

"If you act like you're all high-class and uppity, you're done."

"This is bad. She's not going to make it."

"I think she should be housed with the general population. I think she should find out what it's like in here."

Ms. Hilton is not Canadian.

Canadian news, sort of. There’s a polar bear!
Headline of week: “Knut Steadily Getting Less Cute As He Matures...”

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