Thursday, August 12, 2004

This and Damn That

SO I’M A METROSEXUAL. WHAT’S IT TO YOU?
Apparently, the governor of New Jersey is gay, but married (to a woman!), and has resigned. Much blog activity around this today. We do like our little melodramatic stories, we Americans. As a pundit/satirist, I suppose I should have an opinion about this. But I find myself wearying of the American taste for scandal. I feel sorry for the guy and his wife, but still, why is this any of our business?

On the bright side, it’s a relief to know that there are, in fact, gay people in New Jersey.

APRES SCOTT, LE DELUGE
On the other hand, I’ve suddenly taken an interest in the Peterson trial, when I learned that Scott called his mistress from Modesto, but pretended to be in Paris with his imaginary friend, Pascal. I have no opinion about his guilt, but as a random liar, the guy is amazing. If Amber had had caller i.d? Well, it’s an argument for the positive effects of advanced telecommunication, is it not? How many lives would have been saved if he'd had a personalized cell phone ring?

MCGREEVEYSUCKS.COM
So all right, I started following the blogs on the Governor of New Jersey, and found this little nugget (name in title), which states:

“The McGreevey recipe started off with a campaign rife with lies, stunts, and tricks that are the envy of every carnival con man. Into that slimy batter went an inauguration marked by the sorry spectacle of a hardly past newborn infant used as a prop in sub-freezing temperatures.”

Woh.

We seem to be back in 19th C. politics.

Or at least Walter Winchell world.

I have no idea what that baby stuff is all about. Some kind of New Jersey Michael Jackson thing, I guess. (Will explore.) Somebody took a baby out in the winter for campaign purposes and caused somebody else’s face to turn purple, and somebody’s veins in the neck to stand up like taut ropes. The blogger’s veins and face, in fact.

But what if the blogger is right? Maybe McGreevey IS a big liar. So WHAT IF HE’S LYING ABOUT BEING GAY!!!!? That would mean that, IN FACT, there ARE no gay people in New Jersey!!!!

EXCLAMATION MARKS
Many blogs make frequent use of exclamation marks. If I use them, rest assured, they are for ironic purposes only.

DUCK DVD
Did I mention that Duck’s Breath Mystery Theatre has a DVD coming out?


1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Merle,

I think you've found your metier, your raison d'etre, if you will. Your blog is witty and entertaining. I have to admire anyone who can slip one of the greatest sayings--Apres [moi], le deluge--into his writing! (I'm sure you are the first to apply it to someone from Modesto.) I look forward to reading your future web musings.

11:50 AM  

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