Thursday, April 01, 2010

B log O' My Heart

Overheard
“His pants were out of control.”

Overheard
“You’re talking like my ex-girlfriend. She was a whore. You know what a whore does?”

At the video store!
I was looking for a copy of MADE IN USA, the 1966 Jean Luc Godard movie, because I’d read it was loosely based on THE JUGGER, one of the Parker novels by Richard Stark.

As often happens, the store had a video screen, playing a program. On the screen were Alec Baldwin and Isabella Rosellini, going through divorce terms. He was demanding ridiculous things, like the Arby’s franchises they owned near Telluride. She said something like, “You know I love my beef and cheddar!” I was thinking, “God, what is this?” Then the scene cut to a parody of THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES, in which a woman was saying, “My vagina is a lunchbox.” I thought, “What? Who does parodies of THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES any more?” I asked the highly tattooed young clerk at the counter what was thing they were showing. She told me, “It’s a television show? Called 30 ROCK?” Oh. I felt old. So old. And yet strangely grateful that I had not seen 30 ROCK before.

MADE IN USA, by the way, was irritating. It had little to do with THE JUGGER, was crammed with film references, snatches of poetry, snatches of philosophy, and oodles of zero commitment to the narrative. I mean if somebody murders your sweetheart, shouldn’t there be at least the pretence of emotional involvement in finding out who did it? If only to wink at it? It was no ALPHAVILLE, is all I’m saying. It’s a movie? Called ALPHAVILLE?

In other news…
The Catholic News Agency has released this report:
“Noted Italian exorcist Father Gabriele Amorth, commented this week that the recent defamatory reporting on Pope Benedict XVI, especially by the New York Times, was ‘prompted by the devil.’”

Speaking of religious figures…
Author and food activist Taj Patel, shortly after appearing on THE COLBERT REPORT to plug his book, THE VALUE OF NOTHING, suddenly became deluged with emails. According to the Guardian UK, “Patel's background and work coincidentally matched a series of prophecies made by an 87-year-old Scottish mystic called Benjamin Creme, the leader of a little-known religious group known as Share International. Because he matched the profile, hundreds of people around the world believed that Patel was the living embodiment of a figure they called Maitreya, the Christ or ‘the world teacher’.”

Patel has denied the charges. He told the Guardian: “My parents came to visit recently, and they brought clothes that said 'he's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy'. To them, it's just amusing."

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Patel has denied the charges. He told the Guardian: “My parents came to visit recently, and they brought clothes that said 'he's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy'. To them, it's just amusing."

I just wonder if all the people mentioned know that the quote is from "Life of Brian".... Y'know, if enough people are accused of being the messiah, perhaps sending them to Messiah Court would make a good game show. Of course, the finale will be a HUM-DINGER!

-D.E.

1:38 PM  

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