Tuesday, December 28, 2010

End of the year blog

This is a movie about a man who would be king and his speech therapist. Much acting is involved, I think. Oscars will gather.

True Wee Wife Moment
She picks up her purse. It’s heavy. Why is it so heavy? She opens it, says, “Oh. It’s pumpkins.”

Come see me! I am a big part of a New Year’s Eve Show, with Ian Shoales (me!), Dr. Science (half me!), Randee of the Redwoods, Two Headed Dog, Train Wreck Riders, Duck’s Breath (1/5 me!), and more….
Starts at 9:00, at the Presentation Teater, San Francisco, 2350 Turk (at Masonic)

More Economic Bad News…
(From Reuters) The United States executed fewer people this year, in part because there is a shortage of the drug used in lethal injections and because executions are too expensive in tough economic times, a report released on Tuesday said.

But good news from Bolivia!
It has lowered the retirement age to 58. Here in America, we will soon be working until we’re eighty, at which point we’ll either drop dead in our traces, or receive our retirement funds grudgingly, tempered by the disapproval of pundits who hold pension funds to be at the very heart of the forces holding America back from growth and job-creation.

Dancing With the Stars!
Jamie Lee Curtis has rejected a request to compete.

The program was also unable to nab Mark Zuckerberg, Sylvester Stallone, Ann Coulter, Condoleeza Rice, Richard Branson, Tim Allen, Suzanne Somers, and more!

A source close to the program revealed to HOLLYWOOD REPORTER that Melanie Griffith tries to get on the show every year, but has so far been unsuccessful. Jenna Fisher, from THE OFFICE, was also turned down. Ditto Tara Reid. I know her from somewhere….

Nature news!

Recently re-discovered in Kenya! For the first time since 1948!

(AFP) “The Mormotomyia Hirsuta reportedly looks more like a spider than a regular fly. The creature is approximately one-centimeter long, has wings but is unable to fly, and tends to breed in bat feces. Furthermore, the creature had minute eyes, and is the only identified member of its biological family, according to Reuters.”

Kenyans refer to it as the “terrible hairy fly.”

“I call that bold talk for a one-eyed fat man.”
For fans of Charles Portis - and why aren’t you one of them?- TRUE GRIT will not disappoint. For fans of the John Wayne version, this is a much better movie. I recommend it. After seeing it, we went to the library, where the Child Bride promptly checked out THE DOG OF THE SOUTH (Charles Portis), which I stayed up until three in the morning re-reading. And I’m not a young man!

Where to go when the world ends in 2012.
Apparently, it’s Bugarach, a small village in France, which has unique properties enabling it to survive a Mayan-predicted apocalypse. The town has been inundated by various groups of survivalists, etc. The mayor of the town informed The Daily Telegraph, “This is no laughing matter,”

Bruce Sterling on Assange
“…Julian Assange seems remarkably deprived of sympathetic qualities. Most saintly leaders of the oppressed masses, most wannabe martyrs, are all keen to kiss-up to the public. But not our Julian; clearly, he doesn’t lack for lust and burning resentment, but that kind of gregarious, sweaty political tactility is beneath his dignity. He’s extremely intelligent, but, as a political, social and moral actor, he’s the kind of guy who gets depressed by the happiness of the stupid.

“I don’t say these cruel things about Julian Assange because I feel distant from him, but, on the contrary, because I feel close to him. I don’t doubt the two of us would have a lot to talk about. I know hordes of men like him; it’s just that they are programmers, mathematicians, potheads and science fiction fans instead of fiercely committed guys who aspire to topple the international order and replace it with subversive wikipedians.
The chances of that ending well are about ten thousand to one.”

Money-making idea!
The wee bride and I have come up with a surefire television series hit: MIAMI POLICE HOSPITAL LAWYER.

By the way…
The pumpkins were actually little squashes. Three of them. But those things do add up, weight-wise.


Anonymous pops said...

Alan Watts said in his autobiography that he tired of his family's insistence that not being constipated meant you could lead a balanced and happy life. Given her commercial endorsements perhaps Ms. Curtis is proving them right.

5:35 PM  
Blogger Merle Kessler said...

Back in the late 19th C. it was "neurasthenia" that kept Americans from happiness. Yogurt cannot help with that. Oh, wait, Ms. Curtis does not promote yogurt. She promotes Activia. I understand that whether Activia is in fact yogurt or not has become the subject of a great legal battle.

6:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Small pumpkins are ideal food for Gertie the Dinosaur. So, you're prepared in case you find her back-projected behind you ;-)


8:12 PM  

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