Friday, May 22, 2009

Grumpy Old Blog

Hi!
I’ve been busy, and neglecting this blog, which has brought me so much fame and fortune. I am truly sorry.

Mancow
Radio host Mancow recently subjected himself on air to waterboarding in an effort to show that it wasn’t torture. He lasted six seconds and conceded that it was, in fact torture. If only I had been there.

Pelosi
Right wingers are incensed that she did not expose waterboarding as torture, even though they themselves don’t believe it is torture. Whatever.

Gingrich on Pelosi
"She is a trivial politician, viciously using partisanship for the narrowest of purposes, and she dishonors the Congress by her behavior." Why is Newt Gingrich still around anyway? Not only around, he's a rising star in the Republican firmament! Haven’t we been down this road before?

Blago
AP: “A Chicago-area company is marketing hair products inspired by ousted Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich. The shampoo and conditioner carry the brand name ‘BLAGO It's Bleep'n Golden!’”

Waterboard them all! Make them confess to false crimes!

Obama and mustard
President Obama puts spicy mustard on his hamburgers. Right-wingers apparently think that this proves that he’s…. oh hell, I don’t know. I give up.

Obama not funny!
Rightwingers don’t think President Obama was funny at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner. I didn’t either. So what?

From Good Morning, Silicon Valley
“…[T]he University of Missouri School of Journalism is requiring incoming freshmen to show up with iPhones or iPod Touches.”

And a Mercedes, and show up for the interviews in Armani, please. If you’re going to save journalism, you must be stylin’.

Credit cards and guns
Tom Coburn, Oklahoma Republican, added an amendment to the credit card consumer rights bill that will allow people to carry loaded guns in national parks. So if you’re attacked by a bear, you can annoy it with your handgun? Or if a gang of crazed delinquents, on the crack and meth, attack your campsite, you can wing a couple of them before they tear you to pieces and make the mark of the beast on your forehead? If your credit card is rejected at the souvenir shop, you can shoot the underpaid clerk?

Dobson surrenders
Focus on the Family’s James Dobson, shared this with his radio listeners recently, regarding… something or other:

“I want to tell you up front that we're not going to ask you to do anything, to make a phone call or to write a letter or anything.

“There is nothing you can do at this time about what is taking place because there is simply no limit to what the left can do at this time. Anything they want, they get and so we can't stop them.

“We tried with [Health and Human Services Secretary] Kathleen Sebelius and sent thousands of phone calls and emails to the Senate and they didn't pay any attention to it because they don't have to. And so what you can do is pray, pray for this great nation... As I see it, there is no other answer. There's no other answer, short term.”

By by James! You shall be missed.

WAPO
J. Freedom du Lac, in the Washington Post, writing about country music: “The symbolism and prideful sentiments of the songs are intended to create a sense of belonging among people with similar backgrounds and lifestyles, or at least people who romanticize life in the rural South. (It's not a place; it's a state of mind.) To some listeners, though, it might sound as if the artists are closing ranks.”

Um. Excuse me. Urban music, correct me if I’m wrong, is usually about urban themes and lifestyles. Country music (at least until recent years) is about country themes and lifestyles. That’s why they call it country music. What the hell is Mr. Du Lac suggesting country singers do? Lose the twang and get with the program? No wonder they’re closing ranks.

WSJ
On Google: “The Internet search giant recently began crunching data from employee reviews and promotion and pay histories in a mathematical formula Google says can identify which of its 20,000 employees are most likely to quit.”

What do you know? Google really IS evil!

AP
“Meet Sockington. Twitter's latest star is a microblogging cat who regales more than half a million with his musings on meal time, personal hygiene and the view from the top of the stairs.”

Why is the nation not retching? Oh, right, it’s too busy monitoring the tweets of a fucking cat.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Merle Kessler wrote:
Right wingers are incensed that she did not expose waterboarding as torture, even though they themselves don’t believe it is torture. Whatever.Whatever it is, we have professionals doing it, according to Dick Cheney. So it must be OK.

-D.E.
A Profession for Confession?

12:39 PM  

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